All Hail The Lileks!

Honestly. How true is this?!?

The problem isn’t that I’m a bad writer; it’s that I’m not bad enough. If only I could bang out intricately plotted slam-bang stories in which cardboard people run around the world, never stopping to pee or eat, unlocking an Ancient Secret whose mystical protectors have sworn to protect. (The formula for Coke, maybe. Mix the ingredients in reverse, and you have Ekoc, an ancient Greek compound that grants immortal life. The secret must never be told! We killed the Cult of Ispep, and we can deal with you, Robert McMannory, dashing archeologist!) Or perhaps a dry, sorrowful tale of a dedicated police officer who solves a murder everyone else thinks was an accident. Or maybe a combination of the two: a wry, emotionally damaged ex-police officer discovers that the Illuminati control everything, and together with his beautiful raven-haired assistant, he exposes something or other. Probably some lie that invalidates Christianity; that would sell. He couldn’t invalidate Scientology; no one would touch that one.

So much more....all good, all true.