02 December, 2006

What A Bunch Of Junk

This story properly starts with me working in the nursery with 6 one-year-olds last Sunday. Three of whom had a cold when they came in. If they don't all have the same cold now--the one I'm suffering through--it will be a Christmas Miracle.

So anyway, I'm here drowning in mucous and fever and NyQuil®. "What shall I do?" I ask myself. "Why, let's try to get some Christmas shopping done on the Internet" my self answers back. (NyQuil® is very good at aiding one in conversations with one's self.)

I've been cruising a site named after possibly-one-breasted-archeresses-although-I-think-that's-an-urban-legend for the last 45 minutes or so.

Does anyone really and truly need even ten percent of the stuff they push at Christmastime? Now, this isn't an anti-presents rant, because I love both the giving and receiving of nice presents. But please. No one buy me a Norelco ANYTHING. Or a Ronco anything. I am excited about the thought of saving $10--instantly, no less--on a blood pressure cuff. Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like the gift of watching your life squeezed out of your heart one drop at a time.

There is the handy DIY Ed Gein kit. My Gold Box of Values has backpacks, tents, Leatherman knife kits and cookware on sale. Hmmm. Good times.

Maybe I better go back to bed.

1 Comments:

At 3:22 PM, December 02, 2006, Blogger Ivy, the Great and Powerful said...

Ah, man, I'm sorry you're sick. I bought a box 'o' stuff from homeandbeyond.com ($9.99! Free shipping!) and got some REALLY random stuff. Like coasters, a Santa on a spring, and some other randomness. It's fun, fun, fun!

 

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