Not A Drop To Read
My TBR Pile was once four or five books stacked on my "nightstand" (tv tray beside the bed). Then it was a tottering dozen stacked in a column on the floor. I am now convinced that the books are some form of smythe-sewn/permabonded tribble. They're everywhere. No matter how many I read, I never reach the end. The library has joined in the conspiracy, and like a histrionic stepsister, they must be dealt with first at all times. Those books have places to go, people to entertain. My bought-on books are the long-suffering spaniels, who wait patiently for their turn of the page. Arthur Schoepenhaur said "To buy books would be a good thing if we also could buy the time to read them." Wise, witty, wonderful Arthur! What pith! And yet I'm still afflicted with this curious disease.
What's worse than the disease itself is this most awful side-effect which I like to call "ungrateful malaise" or "um" for short. "Um" is the sound I make as I sit in front of the shelves and try my darndest to pick the next read. Do I feel like ingesting the humourous travails of a single woman in her midthirties as she tries to date a rock star? Um.... Would I rather find out who is chopping up Catholic redheads in the Lake District then summarily dumping their body parts in rubbish bins? Um... How about a period tale about the early days of the Stock Market? Um...how about something serious so that I will sound erudite when someone asks me what I am reading?
(Does this happen to anybody in real life? Are others wont to come up to them in supermarkets and shoe stores to ask what they're reading? "Since you've asked, I've been tucking into The Rise And Fall Of The Roman Empire these days, Jerome!")
I am currently stuck in an UM phase right now and it's frustrating as all hedoublehockeysticks. I can only read the Harry Potter series twice a year–May for my Birthday, October for Halloween–and if I read another Atlantis-is-really-hidden-under-Lake-Titicaca book I might just beat up the next ruggedly handsome archaeologist/freediver I meet.
Does ANYBODY have any book recommendations? I'll even go out and buy another one. Heaven knows it'd have company.
Image (c) Colin Thompson