21 October, 2005

If The Picture Doesn't Immediately Tell You Why...

I know I've been really bad about not following the news lately. Delay--yawn. Miers--yawn. Rove/Plame/etc--who cares? But this, this is news to make me sit up and take notice. Apparently Barbie and Ken may get back together in the spring of '06. Their 43-year long courtship has been frought with peril and more little pink houses than John [Couger] Mellencamp ever dreamed. Yet after standing by her crotchless man for four decades, Barbie moved on to a bloke called "Blaine". This Australian Boogie Border is a surfer by day, partier by night. To me he sounds like a no-good wastrel. Who wants to be involved with a roving beach bum? I know when I hear "globtrotting surfer" I imnediately think of comfort, security and committment.

But these pictures show the Ken of Barbie's long-suffering affections. Gee, I can't imagine why THIS guy was loathe to settle down with that conniving coke-whore clotheshorse! If this guy isn't the number one possesor of a Queer Eye, I have no idea who is. All he needs is a white tiger or an ostentatious piano.

Did I mention that my parents never let me have a Barbie when I was a kid because they were either to exploitative or expensive? (Depends on the day you ask) I'm hurt that I missed out on all of this high drama. But I'm sure glad that the Associated Press was there to keep me informed.


At 9:58 AM, October 21, 2005, Blogger P. K. Nail said...

The mesh shirt. 'Tis a dead giveaway.


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