09 November, 2005

I Am Just About Ready To Kill Apple

And I don't mean Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter.

I've been a loyal MacHead for about 15 years now. Macs are very easy to use. Except this one, this week. A month ago the monitor started going out of register. Meaning that everything would shift on the screen, be really blurry and freeze that way for about 10 seconds. Then it was all back to normal. Then I'd be playing Sims2 and watching fake people WooHoo in the HotTub and I'd get a message in about 15 languages that said "You Need To Restart Your Computer". Now, it occasionally has a snowy screen and a really fast-moving fan. (Ah. For the days of the fan-less Mac.)

I was going to type out the boring iterations of the approximately nineteen thousand service-sector employees I've been on hold with for the last two days. But it's bored me to live through and I see no reason to bore you with reading it.

Anyway, at the suggestion of Jennifer in Tech Support ("I'm not really supposed to help you but if I could help you I'd tell you to run the Apple Hardware Test that came with your computer"), I've discovered that I have an ****ERROR CODE****ERROR CODE*****. That's exactly how they word it. With the asterisks and everything.

So what is the error code? Glad you asked.

2 MEM/3/4:DIMM0/J4000

Yeah. Glad I ran that diagnostic. It tells me SO FRIGGING MUCH!!!! I suspect that to those who know the secret handshake it's akin to "Drink More Ovaltine."

Why on earth is the Jeff Goldblum-plugandplaythinkdifferent machine all of a sudden spouting arcana? Where is the love for us hapless average users? Obviously there is a problem. Macs don't go all WonkyFeint on a regular basis. Just tell me what the problem is.

Thank you. Glad I got that off my chest.

And, if you're thinking about going into the comments section and telling me to switch to a PC, don't bother. This is my first major Mac problem in 15 years. The PC I used to use at work puked bolts and code everytime I turned around.


At 11:47 PM, November 09, 2005, Blogger Casey said...

2 MEM/3/4:DIMM0/J4000 eh? DIMM stands for Dual In-line Memory Module. I suspect bad memory. Please do not kill Apple. Then I'd have to write software for Windows XP and it's already bad enough without me inflicting my crappy software upon it.

At 12:13 AM, November 10, 2005, Blogger Kat Coble said...

Alas, I cannot kill Apple. We've got a long term marriage. But I may make them sleep on the couch for awhile.

Tim also suspects memory. I'm beginning to think this may be a VRAM issue. I guess we'll see what the dudes over at MacAuthority have to say.

It's still under warranty. If it IS bad memory, that's a good thing.

At 12:13 AM, November 10, 2005, Blogger Kat Coble said...

Oh and how crappy can your software be if they're giving you cakes for it?

At 12:21 AM, November 10, 2005, Anonymous Emily Hambidge said...

I have had GREAT experiences with the Nashville Apple store. I would highly recommend taking it there and getting it looked at. My problems were not longer under Applecare and they still fixed everything for free!

And whatever you do - DO NOT GO TO MACAUTHORITY!

At 12:46 AM, November 10, 2005, Blogger Kat Coble said...

Okay. I'll bite.

Why not?

Granted, that's where I bought the machine and when I called the girl said it'd be at least a week, maybe two to fix.

Hence my lack of thrillin' about taking it in. Do I seem like a person who can do without my machine for "a week, maybe two"?!?!

At 1:03 AM, November 10, 2005, Anonymous Justin Williams said...

Yes, its bad memory, and yes MacAuthority is bad.

See here for why.

In short: Apple Store has far superior customer service.

As for the memory, just have someone put a new stick in and that should fix it. Find a smart friend.

At 1:11 AM, November 10, 2005, Blogger Kat Coble said...

Who needs a smart friend when I've got a smart husband?

[Right about now Maureen Dowd is rolling over in her grave sense of self-importance]

Yeah, I think I'll definitely be skipping MacAuthority. I really would like to support my local sherrif and all that kind of thing, but I just really have NEVER had good customer service from them.

Thanks for the link, etc. Much help, and much appreciated...

At 1:03 PM, November 11, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll chime in on the bad memory vote. My Pismo Powerbook (yes, I bought it five years ago and yes, it's still as good as the day it was delivered) had a bad memory module that was causing all sorts of craziness. I replaced it and the computer has been stable ever since.

I'd bet you some cheese that your memory is the problem


At 4:20 PM, November 11, 2005, Blogger Patrick said...

Ditto to the memory error. And, if for some reason they won't cover it under warranty, memory is one of the easiest things to replace in any computer. I just hope it doesn't start spitting bolts too. :)


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