Random Notes From The Weekend

I want to write something, but we've had a pillar-to-post weekend, and all the thoughts are swirling. So here there are, in one of my infamous "Larry King" posts. Except I've still only had one spouse.

1. To all my friends, relations, solicitors and political parties: I don't ever check my voice mail. The only way I even know we have a message is if I'm tempted to call someone and I get the stutter dialtone. It's a bad habit, borne out of years of reading. I do check my email. I do not check my voice mail. Please. If you want me to know about it INSTANTLY, send me an email. If you want me to hear about it in four or five days....voice mail is okay.

2. To the people who translated "Stille Nacht" from German to English: Saying that the Holy Infant is "tender and mild" makes Him sound like a Roast Duck. Bad move. I've laughed in three consecutive worship events today because of it. Songwriters in general, please find something else to rhyme with "child". For that matter, is it just me or does "Away In A Manger" rob Jesus of all His majesty and awe by attempting to turn him into a well-behaved lullabye dolly? I think so. I don't like this Christmas Carol. I do like the one verse of Adeste Fideles that starts "Yea, Lord, we greet Thee!" I feel so excited! YAY! LORD! It makes me frabjously happy.

3. If you are not at a Thai restaurant, do not get Pad Thai. It is apparently only really good if fixed in an actual Thai restaurant.

4. We ate all three meals today with Patrick And Lydia. We've now spent more time on this day with them than with our dogs. But I will rub neither Patrick nor Lydia's belly. So there.

5. I think I would like to live in Austin, if it came right down to it. Even though I'm "weird in [my] own way", I fail to see the community of Austin as being too weird for me.

6. Just because I disagree with someone politically it doesn't mean I don't like them. I'm not prepared to dislike large chunks of the human race. Unless they have crank teeth. I'm really grossed out by bad teeth. I'll still try to like the person, but avert my eyes when they speak.

7. I'm officially shouting at the entire world--"Don't make me seperate you!!!" because I'm bored with the whole "Is-it-Christmas-or-Holidays" fauxtraversy.

8. I love church, especially at Christmastime. But the people carrying the long garland really did look kinda like they were holding a python.

9. Like Aunt B. I need a new bra. My Christmas Bra makes it look like I have 3 boobs. Like that woman in Total Recall--which is still the best Arnold Schwarzanegger movie ever. The Terminator films are weak on subsequent viewings.

10. Don't complain about how I haven't posted since yesterday, when you all went a week without posting. Yeah, I finally heard that voice mail.

There. I feel better. Happy Monday! Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas! Froeliche Weinachten! (Hey. I got a C- in German. You now know all the German I know.)