12 January, 2006

Apple Core

This post was going to be relegated to a comment on this post at Nashville Is Talking. But since I haven't written anything for the blog today and I'm really mad at the guy who wrote the original piece, I'm airing my dirty laundry for everyone here. Lucky You!

My Heartfelt Response To Criticism Of Apple's Marketing

Please, dude.

Like we Mac users haven't put up with WinTel nerds' Apple's So Stupid-Windows Is Pretty much Everything games forever now.

Some common ASSWIPE Dozens:

1. You guys have only 3% of the market share!
2. What a Dumb OS!
3. Why should I pay a gajillion dollars for a Mac when I can build my own box out of parts I scrounge from the dumpster and get a better machine?
4. Macs are for graphic designers, little old ladies and stoners. You can't do business work on a Mac.
5. Macs are computers with training wheels.
6. You can't game on a Mac.
7. Jobs stole the GUI before Gates stole the GUI.

So what have we done?

1. Increased our market share with pervasive, highly utillitarian and beautiful products. iPod/iMac anyone?
2. Proven to WinTel users the ease of our Plug and Play with iTunes--the original siren song.
3. Proven that a Mac is a beautiful experience out of the box--and one that is remarkably consistant.
4. Made graphic design simple enough for little old ladies and accessible to everyone. We've proven the ease of beauty in the computing experience. I have run complicated business modeling in Excel on a Mac for almost decade now.
5. Macs are computers for users. Not computers for snotty guys who can't get dates and like to have the Mysteries of the BIOS be the one part of their masculinity in which they are secure.
6. Ever tried gaming on a Mac? You can, and it's easier. The good thing is that the best games get ported. We aren't throwing money into the sewer by playing all of the also-rans that tempt you unlucky folk.
7. Who stole what from PARC Xerox is moot. Gates has made a cluttered mess that can't run smoothly, because he's had to engineer his product for a ream of dumpsterbuilds and multi-brand boxes. Apple has utilised the same GUI idea to give a seamless plug and play experience.


So now all your chips are belong to us. There is nothing standing between you and a Mac experience. Come on. Once you go Mac you never go back. And we are arrogant--Because We Have The Right To Be.

12 Comments:

At 11:29 AM, January 12, 2006, Blogger jag said...

The fiance wants us to switch to Mac so badly. The only problem I have is that after 10 years of learning all the intricacies and shortcuts to DOS and Windows, I get on my mother's iMac and it's too easy for me to comprehend.

I don't keep up like I should, but it sure seems the Apple has made a big turnaround here lately. Perhaps it has something to do with Steve Jobs returning in the 90's?

 
At 11:57 AM, January 12, 2006, Blogger P. K. Nail said...

Nothing's standing between me and a Mac except a couple thousand dollars. :P

 
At 12:35 PM, January 12, 2006, Blogger Casey said...

Nothing's standing between me and a Mac except a couple thousand dollars. :P

What if you could get one for $499?

http://www.apple.com/macmini/

 
At 2:12 PM, January 12, 2006, Blogger P. K. Nail said...

Sadly, I don't have that much either.

 
At 3:25 PM, January 12, 2006, Blogger Exador said...

The biggest benefit that I see is that nobody writes viruses for Mac, because, why bother?, nobody uses it anyway.

 
At 3:26 PM, January 12, 2006, Blogger Kat Coble said...

Yes, there is THAT....and I'm not complaining.

 
At 3:43 PM, January 12, 2006, Blogger Jon said...

As far as the "ASSWIPE"'s go, you can take some heart knowing that Unix/Linux/BSD users give the Windows users the same treatment that they give you, and then some. Then you can point out that Apple leap frogged over them when OSX came out - derrived from BSD.

 
At 4:01 PM, January 12, 2006, Anonymous Muffy said...

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
At 4:44 PM, January 12, 2006, Anonymous Lu said...

Amen, Sistah. Preach on.

 
At 5:28 PM, January 12, 2006, Anonymous tom said...

It's disheartening to hear about the intel chips, but after working in tech support for five years, I've come to the realization that Macs are just much better machines. I'm still vascillating on a new Mac for home. My dream is a G4 iBook with a superdrive. It'll be cute AND run the hell out of my crappy Dell.

Is there any truth to the rumor that Mac will stop making computers all together and focus strictly on building OSX as a superior option to Windows?

 
At 7:11 PM, January 12, 2006, Blogger dolphin said...

I don't have anything against Mac, and openly admit Windows is awful. Unfortunately, some of the (surprise, surprise) graphic design programs I use aren't made for Mac. Aside from that, the biggest reason keeping me from a Mac is the money. If I could get a Mac comparable to my PC for the $200 it took me to build the PC, I might do it (in addition to my PC), but I just can't see paying out money for a slightly more stable OS. If I had an extra computer lying around I'd probably just put Linux on it like I had on the spare I used to have.

 
At 8:49 PM, January 12, 2006, Blogger Patrick said...

For those that complain about how much the mac costs, here's an idea - save up for it. If you really want one, wait for it. That's what I did. 10 months of saving money and a working a few extra odd gigs here and there... and now I have an iBook. Of course, it was a necessity because someone else in this household tends to spend a bit o' time on the other laptop. :D

I'm not trying to slam p.k.... just encourage everyone that it can be done... I did it!

 

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