I Got You, Babe

I've been tagged. Cool. I love being tagged. I consider a tag to be a very self-absorbed writing exercise. I know everyone is interested in my favourite citrus fruits and which dog I would be if I were canine.

When Cheryl tagged me, I thought this would be easy. It's not the more challenging questions of world hunger and world peace. It's simply what 8 ideal qualities my mate would have. Then I got to thinking. I already have a mate. If I answer wrongly I could make my mate feel ashamed. "What?!?" he would say. "I only embody 6 of the 8 qualities? How dare you settle for me!" Then I darkly envision a scenario where he decides that he has no business settling for a woman who settled for him, so he packs his bags and peddles off into the night.

How fortunate that he embodies all of the 8 qualities, and then some. Also fortunate is the fact that he doesn't mind (too much) the constant up-bringing of my prototypes. The men who formed my childish ideas of what I wanted from a mate. The men who are pictured along the side of this post like the fine eyecandy they are. The men that make all my friends from high school wonder about my propensity for having the hots for dead guys. Come to think of it, my current friends also wonder the same thing. So. On to the tag.

Target Partner: Male. This one was easy.

8 qualities of my perfect partner (not necessarily in order)

1. Tall and interesting looking.

All of the men on the list are tall. The shortest is Robert Shaw at 6'. The tallest is Abraham Lincoln at 6' 4". Have no idea about metric measurements...sorry. I like craggy, rawboned faces more than blandly handsome ones. Rutger Hauer was really not my type when he was younger, facially. This has been remedied by both the aging process and the knowledge that he's batcrap crazy. A person looks infinitely more intriguing when he's batcrap crazy.

Tim is 6' 2" and he's definitely interesting-looking, with piercing blue eyes, strong facial bones and a nice large head. (He doesn't allow his picture to be taken, so if he ends up seeming to you readers as a jackolantern on a stick he has no one but himself to blame.)

2. Convictions

I find it very attractive when a person believes firmly in something. They can be diametrically opposed to my stance, but if they are firm and resolved then I admire that. Obviously Lincoln fits this definition to a T. About the only thing Shaw seemed resolved in was his desire to drink himself to death. But he did accomplish that desire, so I suppose I must award him full marks. Rex Harrison was very convicted about loving women. He apparently did that well.

Tim is very convicted in both his faith and politics. In the few areas where we disagree (predestination, eternal security--kinda), he has very good and convincing arguments.

3. Gentleness

Honestly is there anything more attractive than a big, strong man who looks like he can fell a tree but then will sooth an injured pup? I don't think so. Again, Lincoln gets points for this, although at times I wonder if my love is for the actual 16th president or for his archetype as portrayed by Raymond Massey in Abe Lincoln In Illinois.

Tim is very gentle. Any man who will soothe his ailing wife at 3:30 in the morning is gentle in my book.

4. Courage

Obviously if you are a large man who also has strong convictions it pays to have courage. People will expect you to back yourself up, and situations will be desperate at times. Of course Lincoln fits this again. You'll find that most of what I love can be traced back to Lincoln. Which may be quite sad, when you think about it. Of course, Hauer had courage too, to a point. He served in the Dutch Navy. Then he deserted. So, plus 10/minus 10. Still, he's a fine looking man. So whatever.
I assume Shaw got in bar fights. He was an Irish drunk. But then again if you're drunk does the fight count as courageous? I suppose not. Frankly, Rex Harrison has always struck me as a Discretion-better-part-of-valour guy.

Tim is courageous, if only for coming home to me and our wily beasts at the end of every workday.

5. Prosperity

There are different kinds of prosperity. The obvious kind is money, and lots of it. Which little girl doesn't want to live in a nice house, have pretty things and be able to buy the occasional People magazine? When you're creating your "ideal husband" list in your head--which I think you must do if you go to slumber parties--this one always comes up. Women love security and are prone to worry. We think a husband with money will provide plenty of the former and tamp down the latter. By the time we're older, hopefully we realise there are other kinds of prosperity. The knowledge that "enough is as good as feast" and the ability to find contentment with what we do have is actually a much stronger prosperity. Contentment comes from within and isn't so easily lost as material goods.

It struck me that none of the men on the list were wealthy for long periods of time. Robert Shaw had terrible tax troubles, and spent much of the last decade of his life alternately fleeing and working for the revenuers who were after him. Lincoln was perpetually broke--partially due to the manic spending of his batcrap crazy wife. I understand Hauer is also frequently skint, hence his appearance in strange Bollywood films.

Luckily with Tim I have that lasting prosperity of contentment. When we do have money it's great. When we don't, we still have each other. Kinda like that Neil Diamond song.

(Speaking of Neil, he was on the list when I was younger. But he just hasn't aged well. And he has the disadvantage of still being alive. )

6. Sense of Humour

Honestly, if you can't make me laugh--what good are you!? This is really the lynchpin of what I find attractive for a long-term relationship. I love to laugh, and I love to crack jokes. If you can't make me laugh and don't get my jokes then we really won't have anything to talk about. Good thing I found Tim. We perpetually crack each other up. Even when we're tired and don't mean to.

We were watching Threshold before CBS cancelled it. The character played by Data (I know the guy has a real name but I can't honestly be bothered to learn it. Besides, I know I'm not the only person in the world who says "Look! It's Data!" whenever he comes on the screen. He's just gonna have to suck it up.) was tired of his covert alien-hunting life. As apparently were the executives at CBS. Anyway Data says "I miss NASA". Tim apparently didn't hear him and asked me to clarify.

What I said was really funny. Trust me on this one. We've been quoting it back to each other for weeks.

7. Likes to Drive

This sounds stupid. It has nothing to do with someone's Inner Being and all that, but it's important. For two reasons. Firstly, I am a crap driver. Really. I'm easily distracted, legally blind and prone to falling asleep behind the wheel. The engine noises are soothing and relax me. So I have to be married to someone who can even out the equation. More than that, I love long car trips where we can discuss the nature of the universe and our place in it.

Thank goodness Tim (at least appears to) like to drive. We take the long way 'round a lot. We talk about our days, weeks, beliefs and fears. And get ice cream cones. Our first kiss was in the car. Actually, when I think about it, it was in front of

8. Likes Music

the dashboard light. Just like the song. This is another apparently lame one that has more significance than you would think. I was a weird kid whose life was saved by three things (apart from the smart doctors in the hospital who kept bringing me back to life, literally...). Books, music and Star Wars. Well, books can be enjoyed in solitude, so your mate's desire to read isn't really that critical. Star Wars sucks now, so asking any man to be into it during this decade is really setting the bar way too low. Of course, they have to like the original trilogy. I'm sure if Lincoln were around he'd have been a big fan. Rex would have liked Leia's sexy costumes, and really I think that the fact that Robert Shaw was in Jaws buys him enough sexiness for a lifetime. The whole Indianapolis Monologue is the most powerful aphrodisiac in my life. So Bob doesn't need to care one iota about Star Wars. He did write books though.

But music. Music saved my life by creating a world where I could be me away from the people who threatened and confused me. It allowed me to dance in my own private space and create oases of strength. If you don't like music you don't understand my need to slip under occasionally and be refueled by its power. I can't create music. Ursula Jarosz (my forlorn piano teacher) will back me up on that. But I do fully enjoy it, and am sustained by it to a remarkable degree.

Luckily I met a fellow Deadhead who fully appreciates "Lady With A Fan" and will crank Bat Out Of Hell as loudly as possible.


You know, now that I check back at Cheryl's, I think I was just supposed to write a list. Ooops. If you've made it this far, though, you deserve some extra points.

Lime German Shepherd.