I Wish I Were William Shatner

He can't sing, but he records albums. He's kinda butt-ugly, but he got all the beautiful women in space. He's the cockroach of actors...nothing kills this guy's career.

But, and most importantly, he sold his kidney stone on eBay for $25,000 dollars. (I heard this first through Big Orange Michael).

Saturday night at 10:00 I went to bed. Sunday morning at 3:30 I woke up with that 'my body is eating itself' feeling I've come to know so well. Tim heard the familiar cry of "I need HEEELLLLP" and rushed to my side with the drugs and sympathy. I paced, I cried, I begged the Lord for deliverance. He rubbed my calves, gave me Sprite and answered my unanswerable questions. Tim. Not the Lord. Although if the Lord were in my house in a corporeal state, I'm sure He would have done likewise.

I haven't passed it yet, but the worst of the renal colic has subsided. I'm left with sore innards, nausea and the grinding of another stone the size of this (o) through my guts. If I could sell the blessed thing on eBay that'd be one thing. I'd prize this experience as a journey toward a greater reward.

But. I'm. Not. Willam.....Shatner.

P.S. If I made NiT an incoherent mess yesterday I'm really sorry. I tried my best to follow through on that committment.