Taking The Ferry To Gayhead--Or What Has Happened To The Girls?

Hey. Did you guys hear that Dick Cheney shot someone?

But that's not what I'm rambling about this morning. I've said all I have to say in some comment threads at NiT and TV on the Fritz.

The reason this post is not at AATW is because the guys that frequent there would probably run me out of the blog on a rail. They love the Girls. They think both mother and daughter are Teh R0x0r or whatever the kids call it these days.

But I want to know what happened to my beloved Gilmore Girls? The easy answer, of course, is "Daniel Palladino". Whenever he writes an episode I grit my teeth because I know it's going to be puerile and pointless. But I watch anyway. (Someone rang the bell so I felt that I had to).

I knew we were in trouble this week when he was not only the writer but also the director. Hmmm--somebody won himself a write-off on a Martha's Vineyard trip. Good for you, Danny Boy. So--get to the point, Kat. It's Friday.

1. Rory has become more spoiled than a tub of mayonnaise in the Sahara. She actually has people fighting to underwrite her (very expensive) Yale education. Poor girl. The stress of being caught in the middle of two wealthy groups who want to shower you with riches must be unbearable.

When she started yantering on about the jolly jaunt through Asia I so badly wanted to reach through the TV screen and stick Miss Thing back on the trash crew. The only thing--aside from the obvious--that stopped me was my pity for those poor convicts. They don't need her yenting them through their miserable lives. I think maybe we're supposed to feel sorry for Richie Rich since his mean daddy is making him fly to London to work. But I just have no sympathy. Oh my handsome young blond male friend. You know that dab penthouse you're living in, with the plasma screen and the pool table and the bathers who clean the royal whatsis? That kind of luxury comes with a price. Being yelled at in the beach house isn't the price. Hard Work is the price. So sorry that reality is catching up to you.

But Rory doesn't need to worry about Asia. I'm sure she'll have Daddy or Grandpa pay for that.

2. Lorelai is a Twit. I'm finding it very hard to sit through endless repetition of the cutesy dialogue when there are real conversations that should be happening--but aren't. I don't think Daniel Palladino can write for grownups. His previous gig was Family Guy. That show's humour comes from broad satire mixed with sophomoric scatology. Daniel does that kind of stuff very well. Witness the COMPLETELY BEYOND STUPID little monologue Lorelai excretes this week. She does what I can only assume is supposed to be a bizarre homage to Tarantino's sexualized verbal riffs. Three minutes (!) of nattering about pulling off, spermicetti, lighthouses and taking the ferry (fairy) to Gayhead. And she wonders why Luke would rather spend time with his 12 year old science geek daughter?

So, we get long jokey scenes perfumed with tastelessness and are supposed to feel sorry for her that Luke doesn't understand her feelings? Luke left his Kreskin kit at the Rennaissance Fair, Lorelai. How can you expect to spend a lifetime with a man when you won't tell him what's on your mind? And it's not like we fans want to see this handled like an adult relationship. We'd much rather hear more of DP's craaazzzeee comic stylings, as performed by Lauren Graham.

It strikes me more and more that The Girls are becoming like a warped vinyl 45 played at 331/3. They don't get anything done fast enough, and the dialogue hits those painful hills and valleys. If only I were satisfied by just watching hot women, everything would be okay.