Questions Billy Joel Makes Me Ask

I've had BJ in the background for VD because I stole the idea from S&F. Although I don't think that's what he meant. Whatever.

Anyway, there are things I wonder about when I listen to Billy Joel.

Specifically:

--Who is "Captain Jack" really, and how will he get me high and get me by tonight? Tangentially, where exactly is my special island? Is that something I should see a doctor about?

--Weren't there worse things in VietNam, really, than not having soft soap? I mean, bullets shooting through your body might be a little harder to take. For me anyway.

--How on earth can anyone befriend a professional clown? I don't care if it's in the interest of world peace. Dude. He's a FRIGGING CLOWN!!!! Frankly, the Russians never scared me more than when I realised that they were churning out clowns.

--How did he land Christie Brinkley when he apparently has such abysmal taste in women? On the bright side, he likes 'em crazy. So there are plenty of chicks out there who could find a soul mate after all.

--Did anyone in the music industry of the 70s and 80s actually use the term 'Beau Brummel'? Somehow that seems highly unlikely. Then again, Warren did find a use for brucellosis. But that was in a song about (partially) a man who went crazy in Viet Nam. Probably from lack of good soap.