27 October, 2005

I Believe

I have true faith. I believe in a lot of things that others consider goofy or strange, and that doesn't bother me. But one of my fondest beliefs is constantly under fire.

I believe in the Loch Ness Monster. Firmly, unshakably. Almost. I suppose if someone could show me crisp, clear, underwater footage of the entire 22-mile long Loch--completely free of Nessie--then I might be convinced otherwise. Until that unhappy day, I will stand my ground.

Why do I care? Because I like the thought that there is something elusive yet tangible just out of sight. Because I like the thought that in a world of nanotechnology, cloning, geneome mapping and space exploration that there is something in our own backyard we haven't conquered and don't quite understand. Nessie is a paradigm shift just waiting to happen.

What do I think she is? I'd like for her to be a plesiosaur if for no other reason than it would be an even more radical charge than if she were a giant eel or serpentine whale. Currently, the Virgin Eel theory seems to be the most popular among Cryptozoologists and authors who are former gym teachers. Really, though, as long as she exists I'll be happy.

And in case you were wondering, yes I do believe we actually landed on the moon but still feel very strongly that The Stonecutters are the best explanation to date for Steve Guttenberg.

12 Comments:

At 7:58 AM, October 27, 2005, Blogger Rex L. Camino said...

Welcome to the sacred order of the Stonecutters who since ancient times have split the rocks of ignorance which obscure the light of knowledge and truth. Now let's all get drunk and play ping pong!

 
At 7:59 AM, October 27, 2005, Blogger HUCK said...

Must... control... urge to... dispute...


Sorry. I know. We skeptics should be bound and gagged during the Halloween season. I tried, I really did:

The Discovery Channel sponsored some research a few years back which ran a complete sonar scan of the entire loch. Conclusion? They got bupkiss.

Here's another more recent investigation. Unfortunately, the results were the same.

 
At 9:01 AM, October 27, 2005, Blogger Michael said...

The Loch Ness Monster was in a Dr Who story...so it must exist! :)

 
At 9:27 AM, October 27, 2005, Blogger HUCK said...

Good point.

Dr Who is da man. He would never lie to me.

 
At 9:41 AM, October 27, 2005, Blogger Kat Coble said...

Oh, Huck, you killjoy!

Seriously, I could whine all day about disputing the Loch Sonar Scans, but I'm just gonna let the people at Nessie.co.uk do that for me.

 
At 9:53 AM, October 27, 2005, Anonymous Sarcastro said...

Wouldn't proving the non-existence of Nessie be economically crippling to the local economy? So the results of any sonar scans will remain "inconclusive".

But if you believe in an asexually reproducing dinosaur living in a Scottish Lake, virgin births, walking on water and rising from the dead can't be that big of a leap.

 
At 11:05 AM, October 27, 2005, Anonymous brittney said...

I'm with you. I WANT TO BELIEVE!

 
At 3:12 PM, October 27, 2005, Blogger Michael said...

I want to believe....wasn't that a tag line on X-Files once?

 
At 3:40 PM, October 27, 2005, Blogger Kat Coble said...

If it wasn't, it shoulda been.

 
At 4:34 PM, October 27, 2005, Anonymous brittney said...

It was the text on a poster near Mudler's desk.

 
At 10:03 PM, October 27, 2005, Anonymous her.oine said...

I am a believer. I love Nessie.

And I also love cheese.

That is amazing.

 
At 12:28 AM, October 28, 2005, Blogger Kat Coble said...

You know...what the world needs is a Nessie made of cheese. Hey, could that be a song? Let's write it.

There just aren't enough people in Nashville writing songs.

 

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