I Believe

I have true faith. I believe in a lot of things that others consider goofy or strange, and that doesn't bother me. But one of my fondest beliefs is constantly under fire.

I believe in the Loch Ness Monster. Firmly, unshakably. Almost. I suppose if someone could show me crisp, clear, underwater footage of the entire 22-mile long Loch--completely free of Nessie--then I might be convinced otherwise. Until that unhappy day, I will stand my ground.

Why do I care? Because I like the thought that there is something elusive yet tangible just out of sight. Because I like the thought that in a world of nanotechnology, cloning, geneome mapping and space exploration that there is something in our own backyard we haven't conquered and don't quite understand. Nessie is a paradigm shift just waiting to happen.

What do I think she is? I'd like for her to be a plesiosaur if for no other reason than it would be an even more radical charge than if she were a giant eel or serpentine whale. Currently, the Virgin Eel theory seems to be the most popular among Cryptozoologists and authors who are former gym teachers. Really, though, as long as she exists I'll be happy.

And in case you were wondering, yes I do believe we actually landed on the moon but still feel very strongly that The Stonecutters are the best explanation to date for Steve Guttenberg.