18 April, 2006

Tom Cruise Is A Freak

I don't know why I'm bothering with a whole blogpost. There's really no need. The title says it all.

The . Man . Is . A . Freak.

I'd love to blame his funky religion, whose name I won't mention here because I spent 10 years trying to shake them after one post made to the alt.religion.tomcruise'sfunkyreligion UseNet site. But it's sort of a chicken/egg thing, really. Is he a screaming nutjob because of the religion, or did he join the religion because his brain is a fevered mess?

Now, over at NiT, I read that he is either joking or serious about eating the placenta of his child. I don't care. Either way he's a complete and utter batcrap crazy mess of a man. Who knows jacksh*t about biology.

People eat placenta all the time. They're called women. The reason they do it is because of a widespread belief that the high-dose hormone contained in a placenta will lower the risk of post-partum depression. I, of course, become depressed at the very thought of eating a placenta. But never you mind that.

Does Tom Cruise realise that having high doses of hormones coursing through his system might be a bad idea? Who knows.

What a grosstastic freak he is.

Tom (my brother) and B (my sister), do you remember when I decided I would never again speak the name of the horrible actor who starred in Field of Dreams? I think we have a new family rule. I think we must now and forever after refer to Tom Cruise as That Freak.


At 2:28 PM, April 18, 2006, Blogger Lee said...

I'm taking a stab at this.

After a cow gives birth, she will first lick the fluid off the calf, and then proceed to eat the remainder of the placenta and afterbirth.

She does this because it keeps predators like wolves, coyotes, and bobcats away from the calf.

Maybe by eating the afterbirth, Mr. Cruise thinks that he can keep predators away from his kid as well. Who could those predators be?

Pat O'Brian? The paparazzi? Katie's Catholic parents?

But still, the cow's reasons are much more intelligent than Mr. Cruise's. Therefore now we know for certain. Cattle are more intelligent than Tom Cruise.

At 3:02 PM, April 18, 2006, Blogger Michael said...

You don't like James Earl Jones?

At 3:33 PM, April 18, 2006, Blogger SistaSmiff said...

Oh gosh...I wish I'd've worn my Depends today. I am bustin' a gut!!!!!!

At 5:07 AM, April 19, 2006, Blogger Heather said...

Each time I have processed and digested some inane comment from his (The Freak's) corner, he spouts another. I don't even watch TV or seek him out and still his bizarre behavior finds its way into my head.

At 8:52 AM, April 19, 2006, Blogger Lesley said...

I don't know that I could eat my own placenta...I mean, I don't think it's "vegetarian."

At 7:46 AM, April 21, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Even Michael Jackson didn't eat the placentas after his beard spat out his babies.


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