16 May, 2006

Movies They Oughtta Make: Take 1

Since it's summer and there are maybe three movies coming out that I actually will pay to go see, I figure I've got two choices. I can either bitch about how there are only three movies coming out that I actually will pay to go see or I can tell Hollywood what movies they should be making.

Welcome to Katwood.

Building For Ghosts

The first movie they should make is the story of poor Sarah Winchester. The heiress to the Winchester Rifle fortune, she lost several members of her family tragically. On the advice of a spiritualist she moved to the West and began building a massive home that would house the spirits of all those killed by Winchester rifles. The multimillion dollar home has stairs that lead nowhere, oddly-shaped rooms designed for oddly-shaped ghosts and countless other strange attributes. Sarah believed that she was cursed, and would die if she ever stopped building. She spent thirty-eight years on the house, and didn't stop building until her death. Through the use of spiritualists she is said to have repeatedly welcomed the dead into the home.

Imagine the movie possibilities. Violence. Haunting. Tragic lost love. I'd go see it.


At 3:55 PM, May 16, 2006, Blogger melusina said...

I totally agree that this would make a great story. I love that crazy house.
It is about the most modern real life gothic story I've ever heard.

Maybe you should try your hand at a screenplay?

At 5:24 PM, May 16, 2006, Blogger Reel Fanatic said...

Agreed that the Winchester story has all the makings of a great movie .. as for what's out now, you're right about it being almost all crap ... just last weekend i saw two total stinkers, "Poseidon" and "Art School Confidential"

At 6:21 PM, May 16, 2006, Blogger John said...

"Poseidon" may be a stinker, but one of the movies I'd love to see made relates to a real-life naval tragedy. I would love to see a good movie made about the Four Chaplains from World War II. The nephew of one of the real-life chaplains wrote a somewhat-fictionalized novel, "Sea of Glory," which I took with me to read on my Kenya flight last year. In some ways, it was a little stilted and saccharine. I'd love to see a really good filmmaker tackle the story.

For the uninitiated, four military chaplains -- two Protestants, a Catholic and a Rabbi -- were on board the USS Dorcester, a troop transport ship carrying soldiers (not sailors) to a secret assignment in the North Atlantic. The ship sank, and in the confusion many of the lifejackets were lost. Each of the four chaplains gave his lifejacket away, and the four of them went down with the ship, arm in arm, singing. They were later honored on a postage stamp.

At 8:17 PM, May 16, 2006, Blogger ceeelcee said...

I remember the Winchester Mystery House used to be on "That's Incredible" evry year or so. Cathy Lee, Fran and John always made it so compelling that I decided then and there to never remodel any house I ever lived in. I won't be a slave to no native American ghosts!

That's why my master bathroom is so small that I've had to put my feet in the tub when I sit on the john for 15 years now.

At 11:23 PM, May 16, 2006, Blogger Kat Coble said...

Mel--I don't think I have a talent for screenwriting. Then again all the screenwriters I know (except for Connie Lane) are punk guys who worked at Blockbuster and wanted to be the next Tarantino. Because of those dudes I have an allergy to screenwriters. Maybe I'll commission Connie Lane to do it. yeah. right.

RF & John--I still think I want to see "Poseidon" if only for the really big wave. What I'll do after those 30 seconds are over I have no idea. RF, nice to see you here.

John--That sounds like it could be a fantastic story, but I don't know how they'd make a movie out of it after "Perfect Storm". Pretty much everyone hates the "oh by the way, they all died" ending. Maybe we could have the four chaplains on a boat with two love-starved teenagers, an old car and an expensive necklace.

CeeElCee--Dude, when you buy a house with beer money from your band, what do you expect? Actually, I'm in the same position. My MB is very luxurious and spacious. IF you are Herve Villachaise (or however you spell it.) Yes, it holds a commode, a shower and a "garden" (i.e. small) tub. But that is it. No room for nuthin' else.

I shall remodel it one day. But the Native American ghosts will not dare enter. Because I'll hang a picture of David Hasselhof on the door. I know you're supposed to line the threshold with salt, but I tend to find Hasselhof a much better deterrant for all things both living and undead.

At 7:36 AM, May 17, 2006, Anonymous marci said...

The Winchester Mansion sounds fascinating. I'm sure Hollywood would mess it up, however.


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