Dear Movie Reviewers

Dear Movie Reviewers,

That sound you hear, the one that hurts your ears a little bit, is the sound of people enjoying themselves. I know you've stopped looking for that in a movie. In fact, I think it has become quite clear that the only time you expect the audience to appreciate a movie is when it is a long dark march through pain. The love you want us to feel for movies seems to be the sort of warmth that a person feels for a good lesson from a great teacher.

I know that Pirates, to you was a

hellish contraption into which a ticket holder is strapped, overstimulated but unsatisfied, and unable to disengage until the operator releases the restraining harness.

But many of us who go are really entertained. We plunk down our eight bucks because Pirates does what few critics' darlings dare attempt--it entertains. It's fun and it's funny and it's great escapism. Not that any of us have anything that needs escaping....