27 October, 2006

Bite Me, Terry Frank, You Humongous Bigot

This time I'm calling her a bigot and I'm not apologising.

Because she's written a post that reaches through the internet and slaps me square in the face.

The fullness of marriage is not achieved with the swapping of rings and the symbolic kiss, but rather when the union results in the bearing of a child. ... I don’t believe that marriages must produce a child to be a marriage–but its ability to is its very essence.

Listen here, Terry.

I've got about the most perfectly "Christian" marriage you could find. A preacher's kid and a woman who was born again at 4, baptised at 10, both of whom have half the Bible memorised. We are active in our church and I think that even the non-Christians who know us would gladly step in and tell you that we are Christian people doing our best to live as Christ would have us live.

We are a man and a woman. We took communion at our wedding. We vowed to have a Christ-centered marriage. We're pretty darn perfect as far as your criteria go.

Except for the children. We haven't had any. Not through any choice of our own, of course, but through the working of the very God in whom I believe and you purport to believe. Surgeries and drugs and pain and tears have led us to this place where we accept that God allows crack addicts and wayward highschoolers a blessing He chooses to withhold from us. I spent a lot of years saying "Father, let this cup pass from me" and am now saying "okay fine, your will be done."

But, lady, I am as married as married gets. WE ARE A FAMILY. The very Bible in which I believe and you purport to believe says that marriage is a model for Christ and the Church. (It's all over Ephesians, which is in the New Testament, which is in the back half, in case you're not sure where to find it.) Man is to love his wife enough to die for her. Woman is to love her husband totally and serve him gladly in partnership. It serves as a microcosmic model of Christ's sacrificial relationship with mankind. Nowhere in Ephesians or the Gospels or any other back-half books does God say that a marriage requires children to be a marriage. Children are a blessing but not a necessity.

How dare you, in your crusade to propell a religious institution into the realm of the State, do you then look at my marriage, which is the very essence of that religious institution and call it "not valid"! How dare you decide that you and you alone have got the world figured out.

I hope you quake in shame in front of God at that day when you have to account for your behaviour. I hope on that great day our God looks at you and says "why did you think you were good enough to do my job for me?" And I hope you have enough time to come up with one doozy of an answer.


At 11:57 AM, October 27, 2006, Blogger Malia said...

I saw this first over at NIT and I all I could do was shake my head and cringe. I had a feeling your reply would soon ensue!

At 12:44 PM, October 27, 2006, Blogger melusina said...

Yea, her argument in this case is pretty weak and a bit offensive to those of us who can't/shouldn't have children due to issues beyond our control.

At 12:47 PM, October 27, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Look, if y'all are going to mud wrestle, let me know. I'd like to sell tickets!

At 1:23 PM, October 27, 2006, Blogger bridgett said...

I have had it with hateful people who use Christ to hurt His children. Thanks for this.

At 1:36 PM, October 27, 2006, Blogger Exador said...

Some chistians just give christianity a bad name.

Suppose the government one day "makes a decision on what is best for the longevity of society" that involves outlawing christianity. Would she be such an obediant serf then?

At 5:07 PM, October 27, 2006, Blogger Jon said...

>I hope you quake in shame in front of God at that day when you have to account for your behaviour.

I just love that line so much I had to copy-paste it just to see it printed again : )

At 8:22 PM, October 27, 2006, Anonymous Winston said...

Say it Kat! Some cannot have children. Some choose not to. Some simply don't want them because they can be a pain in the rear. And all of those can be as good a Christians, or Jews, or Muslims, or ____ (fill in the blank) as those who have a whole football team of kids. I can say that objectively because I wear none of those labels.

At 8:46 PM, October 27, 2006, Anonymous Bec said...

Go Kat!

At 9:46 PM, October 27, 2006, Blogger John H said...

Not to trivialize your wonderful point, but when i first read Terry's statement, I thought about Seinfeld's Elaine and how everyone who knew her knew that when she saw a 'real fur coat' she would go off...the silly point being is that I knew where that post would lead, and I'm sure glad you jumped right in, albeit predictably.
Being predictable on some things is NOT a bad way to be, ya know.

I'm sorry you were hurt by Terry's thoughtlessness. You have done nothing to deserve it.

At 12:41 AM, October 28, 2006, Anonymous sista smiff said...

Don't you know that the good Lord is just shaking His mighty head at that crock o'ka ka?

That is a troubled, twisted soul who is probably so screwed up in her life, she couldn't find her fanny with both hands. For real.

At 4:52 AM, October 28, 2006, Blogger newscoma said...

I have known since I was 19 I could not have children. There has been pain and emotional distress over this, but I realize things happen for a reason.
Ms. Frank tends to be humorless and likes to tie in political "policy" wrapped in her own intrepretation of the Bible and what she believes is right. Many times, I have found her posts mean-spirited.
I don't go over there often, and I will be awhile before I go over to Terry Frank's again.
Thanks for being you.

At 9:11 AM, October 28, 2006, Anonymous bekah said...

What I found most disturbing was not her insult to those married couples who do not have children (for whatever the reason), which was horrible and you've got every right to be upset, but the fact that in the comments she continues to say that she did not bring religion into the whole mix and yet right there in her original post she stated that marriage is a religious institution for her. She goes back and forth on her own issues in more ways than one and then, when called on it, she gets dramatic and stands up on her high horse says, "NOT ME!" It pained me to read through all that. I was thinking of commenting there but thought it obviously would be pointless because she only hears those who pat her on the back.

At 6:13 PM, October 29, 2006, Anonymous Miss O'Hara said...

Very well said. I'm sorry this person hurt you so deeply.

As someone who has been told she's going to hell because we don't have kids and don't plan on it for health reasons...thank you. Ephesians is pretty clear about what a Christian marriage consists of, and more importantly, God knows our hearts, our hurts, and is very understanding, and if need be, merciful.

At 6:12 PM, October 31, 2006, Anonymous Netmom said...

The fullness of marriage comes when, even after years together, you can look at your spouse and realize that your being together is, in itself, a gift from God.

I'm so sorry that you had to read something so hurtful. Please know that there is an army on your side.


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