09 November, 2006

Top 10 Things We've Learned From This Week's LOST: Spoilers, kinda

10. If you're really skinny you can climb through the bars of your jail cell to have hot monkey sex with the sweaty guy in the next cage. The fact that neither of you have bathed or showered in weeks is immaterial.

9. Miami-Dade must have some really lousy cops. Honestly, dude. Freakin' college girls Google their dates. How hard could it have been to figure out that "Monica" was a fugitive from justice?

8. The LOST casting director knows how to make the fanboys squee. First we had DeLenn and now tonight we had the Firefly dude.

7. Kate really didn't want to have a baby with Firefly.

6. Jack doesn't take that whole "First Do No Harm" part of his Hippocratic Oath very seriously. And what was up with him being all hesitant to operate anyway? The whole time he's been on the beach he's been jonesing BAD for some good ol' time doctorin'. Remember how he treated poor smushed Boone like his own personal Resusciannie? Now here he is with a "fully equipped" operating room and he'd rather stay locked up in the whale morgue? Okaaaay.

5. When the Others say the operating room is "fully equipped" they do not mean that the crash cart and defib paddles necessarily work. Remember Colleen?

4. Fugitives from justice like to call their pursuers while accompanied by an egg timer.

3. Jack is dumb enough to not realise that having his Whale Morgue door unlocked is yet another Henry Gale MindgameTM.

2. Apparantly all those people on the beach were part of some other show that we don't get to see anymore.

1. When Locke speaks he actually channels the audience frustration. Yes, Locke, we too hope that it won't be very long before we find out why Mr. Eko had to die. However, we would really also have liked to hear your explanation of the Smoke Monster. Not for nothing, but we do watch this show for more than the hot monkey sex.


At 8:21 AM, November 09, 2006, Blogger grandefille said...

"Firefly dude"? What? Where?!

Cap'n TightPants? Nathan Fillion? OMG!!! No!

My lawd. And here I was out getting a Christmas dress on sale for my niece. It's sooo cute and was really cheap, but still.

I'm almost as resentful about missing him on TV again as I was when I read the "Serenity" spoiler. I still can't forgive Joss Whedon for that.

At 8:45 AM, November 09, 2006, Blogger Kathy T. said...

I wish I could find it again, but there was a blog that asked all the questions that are unanswered. The plot is so convoluted that I had even forgotten about a lot of the twists and turns. And WHY the 3 months off? That's a long long time!

At 11:07 AM, November 09, 2006, Blogger newscoma said...

Well dangit. I posted on my blog that I liked Sawyer and "hot monkey sex" before I noticed what you said about it.
Didn't mean to overlap. It wasn't a response. Great minds sorta think alike, I guess (although differently) which is hip.
I am ready (DARNIT) for more smoke monster!

At 3:33 PM, November 09, 2006, Blogger Michael said...

Were you really expecting the series to answer any big questions...I wasn't. I'm enjoying the ride.

And the more nekkid Kate the ride includes, the better it is for me...:)

At 6:30 PM, November 09, 2006, Anonymous Jerald said...

I am loving just rolling with the flow of the show, which ever way the tide is going.
But what gets my goat on my self considered valuable time, is all the reviews, including whole shows, commercials and then previews that this 30 minute show takes to fill up the hour.
I could also say the same and worse for Survivor.

But I will be there in front of the tv or vcr, if need be, to see the next installment of both. In fact, I like the vcr better to skip all that unnecessary, to me, stuff.

Now with my senility, after this six week break, I will probably need another refresher show to remember who is who and who has died and who had the last shower.



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