Wherein I Fisk Two Idiots

This conversation about fat, dieting and feminism led, in a roundabout way, to me watching today's Oprah. I'm about 20 minutes into the show, which is as replete with commercial breaks as ever, when we get to this conversation (transcribed word for word) :

OW: Thanks, Kirstie, for being so bold and for being an inspiration to all women who are waiting on themselves to get their lives together and lose the weight.

KA: And thank YOU for helping me because you helped me--the kitchen was the catalyst to the weight and the smoking [A little over a year ago, Oprah sponsored a remodelling of Alley's home kitchen to provide her with a "beautiful space"] I mean you really, really changed my life.

OW: Thank you so much! Thank you so much! You know what's great about it? I know how you feel, because when I bought a beautiful home in California I wanted to be able to measure up to that. And so, I saw that in you when you had that beautiful..when Nate came and redid your kitchen you wanted to measure up to the beauty you were surrounded by.

KA: (giggling) I didn't. But now I do!

Shall I break it down? I think I shall.

OW: Thanks, Kirstie, for being so bold and for being an inspiration to all women who are waiting on themselves to get their lives together and lose the weight.

Hear that ladies? If you're fat, it's because you are fundamentally a failure. You are the problem. Well, you AND your disorganised, chaotic life. You may think that you're fat because you enjoy food and pleasure more than you enjoy self-denial and self-loathing. You may think you're fat because you have better things to do in this life besides obsess over trivial things like what you eat or drink. No. You are fat (and by extension unlovable)† because you haven't been able to get your [life] together.

OW: Thank you so much! Thank you so much! You know what's great about it? I know how you feel, because when I bought a beautiful home in California I wanted to be able to measure up to that. And so, I saw that in you when you had that beautiful..when Nate came and redid your kitchen you wanted to measure up to the beauty you were surrounded by.

Okay. Maybe it's not you. Maybe it's the fact that you have had neither a very expensive remodelling to your already-well-appointed kitchen nor a lavish manse in sunny California. You in your drab life have failed to surround yourself with the appropriate amounts of wealth and beauty that will serve as a catalyst for your desire to better yourself.

Pardon my french, but to borrow a phrase from Ivy: "Bitches. PLEASE."

What kind of person measures her value and worth against the very transient objects in her home? And is it any wonder that she would also then measure her value and worth against her very transient physical body? This all strikes me as a very mournful commentary on some people's interior lives.

I'm fat. I say that a lot because it's true. It wasn't true when I was younger, and it may not be true as I age. I'm presently losing some weight as I modify my diet for health concerns. As I said over at Feline Little Britches, I like how I look now that I'm two sizes smaller, and I wouldn't mind seeing how I look in sizes smaller still. But at no point have I had a personal moment where I look in the mirror at my slightly-slenderer self and say "A ha! At last I am worthy of my living room set!!!!" I still laugh at the same jokes, knit a mean afghan, whip up a mean dinner and enjoy the pleasures of life.

I'm glad that Kirstie Alley found Oprah to remodel her kitchen, Jenny Craig to pay her to be a spokesperson and thus go on the diet for free, and a personal trainer to help her exercise. I'm glad Oprah has the net worth of many smaller island countries and can thus buy a "beautiful home in California" to inspire her. And house her live-in chef.

Even more than that, I'm glad that I can surround myself with real women who know about life and live far more triumphantly than two vapid celebrities who are still labouring to measure up to the furniture.

† Alley admitted in an earlier interview with Oprah that she hadn't had sex in four and a half years because she didn't want to have "fat sex". That bespeaks a self-loathing from a more deep-seated place, rooted in body image issues that go beyond adipose tissue.