24 June, 2005

From MARTA to Mammaries

Tim: "Before we go in here, please remember that people like Patrick and Lydia read your blog."

Me: "So you're saying I shouldn't go through with the 'From MARTA to Mammaries post I was going to do?"

Tim: silence.

And so it was that we set foot into Hooters Hermitage for the first time.

Why? Well, hop in the wayback machine....

4 hours earlier we left the house. Today's errands were brought to us by the Letter "L"...Library, Lunch, Lowes, and Let Us Test Your Emissions. In Tennessee we have this policy whereby you cannot renew your tags unless you pass MARTA, which stands for Man, Are you Ready to Take it up the.........tailpipe. We failed a month ago, and spent $900 to have all of the OBD trouble codes fixed. If you know what I'm talking about you either are into cars or have been through this circus yourself. Tim went back yesterday. We failed again because Firestone replaced the wrong oxygen sensor. Again, I'm just reporting...no idea what any of this means. The nice men at Firestone fixed their mistake this morning free of charge and sent us on our way to be retested. Trip #3, for those counting.

We waited in line for a very hot 10 minutes in a car with no A/C. We failed. Why? There is a lightbulb burnt out on our dash. Specifically, the lightbulb which lights up the words "Check Engine". Now, I can appreciate that seeing those words is important, and provides your average driver with some good facts, namely that your engine may need to be checked.


Simple question, which no one can answer. The nice lady who tested us explained that "the light there is required to come on". Okay. Personally, I think that since the light's off/on status has NOTHING TO DO WITH CLEANER AIR IN TENNESSEEE the fact that we have to spend $39.95 to get it fixed, plus another 3 hours driving to and fro Firestone and MARTA Hut is ridiculous.

So, since we were dropping our car off to have the bulb replaced, grinding our teeth the whole way (Dentist Bill.....), I had the bright idea to leave Grover with them and have the A/C fixed as well. This means renting a car from Enterprise for the weekend. True to their word, Enterprise will pick you up. However, if they don't have a car right away you have to wait. So, we knocked around the Goodwill store (Book Sale. There goes another chunk o' change) and Hobby Lobby. Christmas Decorations!!! Yay!!! Just In Time For 4th of July!!!

With nothing else to do, and the Golden Goat closed for midday buffet restocking, I encouraged my husband to let us sit down in the only open restaurant in the area. Hooters. It wasn't bad. It was brightly lit and well-paneled. I drew the line at pinning a dollar bill to our waitress' sash, even though that's apparently some Hooter Hostess' Birthday Tradition and Jessica was very excited about it. It made me feel a little too lap-dancy.

Tim (bless his heart) kept his eye on the ESPN tv screens while I watched the waitresses. I felt so Gloria Steinem-y, and pointed out that for waiting tables, their outfits were very comfortable. They get good supportive socks and tennis shoes.

Tim: "If my daughter ever comes to me and says 'Dad, this job is great, I've got comfortable shoes' I'm going to have something to say about it."

The wings are okay, but they charge extra for the celery.

The rental car we finally got, two hours later? A Space Hearse.


At 6:29 AM, June 25, 2005, Anonymous Tim said...

Great, now Patrick and Lydia are going to give your blog a "Parental Advisory - Adult Content" link, just like that nice Dooce lady.

At 1:04 PM, June 25, 2005, Blogger Rex L. Camino said...

I had forgotten that I am due for a MARTA visitation and renewal as well. Thanks for reminding me.

At 10:23 AM, June 27, 2005, Blogger Patrick said...

No parental advisory because she does choose to use the word "tailpipe." I think we have a candidate restaurant for our next Sunday School party! (just imagine Jim and Carol Ann...)

At 10:11 PM, October 03, 2005, Blogger Quit Smoking said...

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