15 September, 2005

Tales From The ANAL Zone

Yeah, that right there should drive some blog traffic my way. Of course it will be the kind of blog traffic that will leave highly unsatisfied. Nothing like leading someone on to let them down. Call me a blogtease.

Tim and I were invited to meet Patrick, Lydia, Lacy and Pam for lunch at First Baptist Church. They do this amazingly good deal of a lunch every Thursday. For $4 you get salad, potatoe (ha), rolle (double hah!) and chickene (joke officially dead.) Sort of like the impending blogger meet-up for this evening, except no dancing on bars.

It was fantastic. Even though we all go to the same church and read each other's blogs daily (or whenver Lazy Lacy and Lydia decide to update theirs....) we have not all met. Until today. It was great...sort of like meeting a pen pal from Sweden except we understood everything each other was saying. And there was chickene (joke screaming in agony.)

So when do we get ANAL, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.



That is Tim's plate. After lunch. Ladies and gentlemen, I am married to the most anal man on the planet. After 17 years together, I am very used to this. Every meal whether at home, at someone else's house or in a restaurant ends with his plate looking like this. Granted, he put himself through high school and college washing dishes. Yet this was a paper plate. As in "disposable" and "doesn't need to be washed."

Lacy was so moved that she photographed the event for posterity.

I on the other hand am not anal, but I'm not posting the picture of my decidedly messy plate for two reasons. My boobs. Which are in the background. I know that if you came here looking for the sexing, my boobs would be a nice taste. But this is a family blog. (If your family is a little on the PG-13 side) And they're at the complete opposite end of the body from the anal stuff. So if you were looking for that, you'd not care about the boobs anyway.

I did find out who Connie Lane actually is, but now I have the unfortunate mental association between Pam and Depends. I know she now hates me forever. And I was so caught up in meeting her that I forgot to ask her like 90 questions which include

…Did she like Sorcery & Cecilia?
…Has she read Johnathan Strange & Mr. Norrell?
…Wouldn't she prefer Harry & Hermione?!?
…How exactly do you have to captivate bloggers from around the world to send you presents? This gratuitous use of the words 'anal' and 'boobs' are my first stab at that. Somehow I think I've failed miserably.

18 Comments:

At 4:27 PM, September 15, 2005, Blogger John H said...

at last, THE site for some hermaphrodite porn....

damn, i thought i had landed on the mother lode..

seriously, fun post.

 
At 4:33 PM, September 15, 2005, Blogger P. K. Nail said...

Did she like Sorcery & Cecilia?
I haven't gotten to it yet. :(

Has she read Johnathan Strange & Mr. Norrell?
No, I haven't. But one of my friends just finished it and has been raving (in a good way) about it.

Wouldn't she prefer Harry & Hermione?!?
NO! Ew!

How exactly do you have to captivate bloggers from around the world to send you presents?
That is still a mystery to me.

And yeah, the Depends connection is rather unfortunate. But Connie Lane is still quite cool.

 
At 4:38 PM, September 15, 2005, Blogger Kat Coble said...

John, I knew this would draw you in with your hermy ways.....

Pam, I knew this would draw YOU in with YOUR "hermy" ways.;-p

Sorcery & Cecilia is fun, but I was surprised at how similar it was to Strange Norrell (in setting and theme) Frankly, I think JS&MN is one of the best books I've ever read. Ever.

This blogger will give it to you as a present, especially now that the Paperback is out.

I actually love June Allyson. I hate that she's only remembered for the Depends thing. I've got to see where I can get that movie.

 
At 5:06 PM, September 15, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually I was trying to get a picture of your boobs and just pretended I wanted one of your plate. We could have had a boob-fest at the table today between you, me and Pam.

I still can't get over Tim's plate ....

Lacy

 
At 5:09 PM, September 15, 2005, Blogger Kat Coble said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 5:10 PM, September 15, 2005, Blogger Kat Coble said...

And Lydia...don't forget Lydia...

Oh and Tim.

My Third Boob

 
At 5:16 PM, September 15, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you think Lydia's boobs really want to consort with ours? ;) I'm sure we'll hear from her on the topic shortly ....

Lacy

 
At 5:18 PM, September 15, 2005, Blogger Kat Coble said...

Lydia's got them high-class boobs. Nice style, tasteful substance.

I've got them farmgirl boobs. Bountiful but without style.

 
At 5:19 PM, September 15, 2005, Blogger Kat Coble said...

Ladies and Gentlemen: Baptist Boobs Blogging.

 
At 5:26 PM, September 15, 2005, Blogger Sharon Cobb said...

With every post about Tim, I like him more and more.
My ex husbands were slobs.
I love the photo of the clean paper plate. Who would have thought it was post lunch? It's fabulous.

 
At 9:52 AM, September 16, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sharon - the plate IS fabulous. I mean ... I felt compelled to take the photo. I couldn't let it go unrecognized.

:)

Baptist Boobs Blogging. LMAO!

Lacy

 
At 11:53 AM, September 16, 2005, Blogger Aunt Lydia said...

Thanks, Katherine. I think.

I'm actually waiting for Patrick to comment about my boobs.

I'm sure you didn't see Dr. Phil the other day when all the women in his audience were wearing shirts that said what they hated about their bodies. For instance, "Flat chested, jelly belly, big hips, etc." Dr. Phil had three women on stage who were unhappy with their boobs. He told them he would pay for boob jobs. They freaked. Of course, we're sitting there on the couch going, "You get boobs! You get boobs! You get boobs!"

 
At 4:24 PM, September 16, 2005, Blogger Patrick said...

Good grief! I skip Katherine's blog for a day and see what I miss!

Kath, with your madd photoshop skillzz, I bet you could come up with a boob-free depiction of your plate.

In the name of loving my wife, I refuse to comment on her boobs other than to say that I love them just as much as I love every other part of her body, especially her heart. :)

 
At 8:00 PM, September 16, 2005, Blogger Sharon Cobb said...

Lacy,
Good eye. I am seeing (in my head) an entire series of anal photos. Talk about post modern art! Heck,just call it "anal" and you'll get a grant from the NEA.

 
At 2:57 AM, September 17, 2005, Blogger Kat Coble said...

Anyone who wants a series of ANAL photos need only come to Villa Gorilla this weekend, where the house has been Mother In Law Cleaned.

Patrick, I seriously thought about pshopping out my gazongas, but then realized that it took FAR less time to merely omit the picture and write about it.

You are sweet to write so gushingly about your lovely wife, who DID have the nicest figure of all the bridesmaids.

Although now I picture you as having gone nuts, and sitting at the kitchen table with Lydia's heart on a plate in front of you. Your main conflict then becoming "How many points is a human heart?"

I need sleep.

 
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