05 September, 2005

Unexplained Celebrities

There are famous people whose appeal is instantly understandable. Rex Harrison.
Audrey Hepburn. They have not only beauty, but a charisma that drives those good looks home with a hammerblow.

Then there are the people who were really famous––white-hot cover of the Rolling Stone famous--for a brief time, but are just mysterious in retrospect.

Specifically I'm talking about Kelly McGillis. She was The Hot Actress when I was in High School. Think Julia Roberts of the mid-80s.

Today I was watching "The Accused", and I just don't get it. She's a good actress, and she's very pretty in some roles. But I just don't understand why she was on the covers of all those magazines back then. She doesn't have that spark, that Jenny SayKwa (I know...I just don't feel like looking up the French spelling. You knew what I meant.)

I also don't get why "The Accused" got to be a movie. When you boil it down, it really is just a Very Special Episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.

These are the thoughts that are borne of a bad combination of Cinemax, TiVo, Benedryl and Doan's.


At 12:13 AM, September 06, 2005, Blogger Kleinheider said...

I also don't get why "The Accused" got to be a movie. When you boil it down, it really is just a Very Special Episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.

Well, yeah, now! But at the time, before L&O, it ws very compelling.

And, she was the bomb in the Harrison Ford Amish movie, Witness.

At 6:13 AM, September 06, 2005, Anonymous Sarcastro said...

Hottest. Amish Chick. Ever.

At 7:55 AM, September 06, 2005, Blogger P. K. Nail said...

Yeah, The Accused is one of those crystalline examples of a movie that was very much a product of its time. Compelling back then, today ... not so much.

I think much of McGillis' popularity was a result of Witness and Top Gun and that by the time she made The Accused she was kind of one her way out. Tune in next time for "Deep Thoughts on Celebrity". :P

At 8:58 AM, September 06, 2005, Blogger Michael said...

Interesting that I was watching Witness over the weekend (hadn't seen it before..not sure how that happened) and thinking--what ever happend to Kelly McGilis. I did see some really bad movie with her in it..what was it...oh it was right after Top Gun and it had the word heaven in the title.

I remember thinking at the time--Kelly McGillis can't be in a movie without being nude on screen....

Which Witness only reinforced that view.

At 9:00 AM, September 06, 2005, Blogger John H said...

Top Gun on that motorcycle and Witness..hands down. Hot Amish babe..great eyes. Yeah, she maybe have been a nova, but it was super while it lasted!

At 10:47 AM, September 06, 2005, Blogger melusina said...

If you see her now, she doesn't even look like herself. I was watching some MTV or VH1 show about Top Gun, and they were interviewing some actress and I was wondering who the hell it was. Turns out it was her.

At 11:07 AM, September 06, 2005, Blogger Kat Coble said...

I guess the general wisdom I'm taking away from this is that you kinda have to be a guy to fully appreciate her hotness.

I can live with that, seeing as how most men will never quite comprehend the full hotness of Rex Harrison.

At 12:54 PM, September 06, 2005, Blogger Patrick said...

We watched Top Gun last night!! It was one of the VHS movies that both I and Lydia owned prior to our nuptuals.

Kelly's hotness seems to be decade-specific... because she has a very eighties-specific je ne sais quois about her (thank you, seventh and eighth grade French) that doesn't seem to stand the test of time... not to mention that perception being amplified by the extremely lame dialogue that both she and Tom were given. We both were impressed with how young Cruise was in the movie, and how boyish he looked:

I, of course, bought it in college for the sound impact and ability to demonstrate the power of my Dolby Pro Logic setup, stereo VCR (pre-HiFi), and 12" dual cone subwoofer. I think Lydia bought it for the volleyball scenes (as I assume, did you, Kath.)

At 12:58 PM, September 06, 2005, Blogger Patrick said...

Oh, and speaking of her being naked, we did see (all of) her in the Nashville touring company of The Graduate a couple years back. We really didn't see that much... due to very creative lighting (if you've seen The Full Monty, you know what I mean.)

At 1:42 PM, September 06, 2005, Blogger Kat Coble said...

Patrick, thanks for thinking that I bought it for the volleyball scene. It makes me feel less freakish.

I, in fact, also bought it to showcase our surround sound.

And to watch them flip off the Russians.

I happen to agree with Quentin Tarantino that the Volleyball scene is possibly the gayest thing in 80s film.


Quentin's Monologue from 'Sleep With Me'
Originally written by Roger Avary

What's a film about, what's it really about? What genre does it take?
[Duane: What, like the spine? Like one sentence?]
No, I don't, fucking boy meets girl, I don't give a shit about that. Fuck boy meets girl, fuck motorcycle movie. No, what is really being said? What's really being said, that's what you're talking about. 'Cause the whole idea, man, is subversion. You want subversion on a massive level. You know what one of the greatest fucking scripts ever written in the history of Hollywood is? Top Gun.
[Duane: Oh, come on.]
Top Gun is fucking great. What is Top Gun? You think it's a story about a bunch of fighter pilots. [Duane: It's about a bunch of guys waving their dicks around.] It is a story about a man's struggle with his own homosexuality. It is! That is what Top Gun is about, man.
You've got Maverick, all right? He's on the edge, man. He's right on the fucking line, all right? And you've got Iceman, and all his crew. They're gay, they represent the gay man, all right? And they're saying, go, go the gay way, go the gay way. He could go both ways.
[Duane: What about Kelly McGillis?]
Kelly McGillis, she's heterosexuality. She's saying: no, no, no, no, no, no, go the normal way, play by the rules, go the normal way. They're saying no, go the gay way, be the gay way, go for the gay way, all right? That is what's going on throughout that whole movie...
He goes to her house, all right? It looks like they're going to have sex, you know, they're just kind of sitting back, he's takin' a shower and everything. They don't have sex. He gets on the motorcycle, drives away. She's like, "What the fuck, what the fuck is going on here?" Next scene, next scene you see her, she's in the elevator, she is dressed like a guy. She's got the cap on, she's got the aviator glasses, she's wearing the same jacket that the Iceman wears. She is, okay, this is how I gotta get this guy, this guy's going towards the gay way, I gotta bring him back, I gotta bring him back from the gay way, so I'm do that through subterfuge, I'm gonna dress like a man. All right? That is how she approaches it.
Okay, now let me just ask you--I'm gonna digress for two seconds here. I met this girl Amy here, she's like floating around here and everything. Now, she just got divorced, right?...
All right, but the REAL ending of the movie is when they fight the MIGs at the end, all right? Because he has passed over into the gay way. They are this gay fighting fucking force, all right? And they're beating the Russians, the gays are beating the Russians. And it's over, and they fucking land, and Iceman's been trying to get Maverick the entire time, and finally, he's got him, all right? And what is the last fucking line that they have together? They're all hugging and kissing and happy with each other, and Ice comes up to Maverick, and he says, "Man, you can ride my tail, anytime!" And what does Maverick say? "You can ride mine!" Swordfight! Swordfight! Fuckin' A, man!

At 2:06 PM, September 06, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is Quentin Tarantino in a, ahem, nutshell.
I'd say this is great parody, exept that I know he means it.

At 2:09 PM, September 06, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

(jason wrote the above).

by the way, how do I get that nifty word verification thing on a Word Press setup? Neat.



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