Wherein I Continue To Prove To The Public That I'm Odd
Aunt B. gives us her five top idiosyncracies and says to play along. So I will. I was gonna do it over there in comments but I knew it would be far too long.
1. Food In Bathrooms
I cannot stand to eat or drink anything that has been near a bathroom, in a bathroom or came from the bathroom. The easiest way for you to score the last piece of cake in the house is to walk it past the bathroom door. I will be physically unable to even think about touching it without vomiting. That episode of Seinfeld where Kramer puts a garbage disposal in his shower to cook food? I've been known to cry when people start talking about it.
Aunt B. has a fear of mirrors. I can go her one better. Any antiques of any kind give me the flat-out willies. I just imagine some poor dead person sitting in the chair and fall to pieces. I grew up in a city that had a lot of historical significance for American Indians and American Settlers. We were forever going on field trips to places that were chocabloc wth antiques. I could just picture dead babies in trundle beds and dead Indians eating their dinners in the Fort at the trestle tables. I thought I was the only person in the world with this problem until Dwight Yoakam's character copped to it in Sling Blade
3. People In Bathrooms
I can't go to the bathroom with people watching me. I have to always put something on top of the magazines with celebrities staring at you. Praise God for car companies who are willing to advertise on the backs of Entertainment Weekly and Bicycle Monthly. Tom Cruise may leer smolderingly, but it keeps things from progressing as they should.
I know that we're supposed to do five, and it's not that I can't think of two more. It's that I can't narrow it down. Perhaps another day I shall pick the winners. As it stands now, I'm ashamed enough of the three that I did post. But vain enough that I won't take them down. Ah, America!