Party Food Conspiracy

I have to make something called "heavy hors d' oeuvres" for our Christmas party this evening. Part of me really wants to dip pebbles in cream cheese, put them on Ritz crackers and scream "heavy enough for you?!"

I am resentful of being a Heavy Hors d'oeuvres person. The Sunday School department may as well prop me up and point "responsible older married couple". Allow me to explain.

Our Sunday School Department meets in a homeroom for a few minutes and then breaks into several classes. (In all fairness, everyone else calls homeroom "morning assembly". To me you can't call it an assembly unless an ex-astronaut comes in to tell everyone not to use drugs. Hasn't anyone been to middle school?!?) You can choose your class, which means that everyone else chooses the one that I'm not in. Can you blame them, really?!

My class seems to for the most part be filled with people who don't have kids. And have been married forever. And apparently we drew the short straw, because we are all responsible for these mystical, weighty concoctions. The other otherpeople('s mother) get to bring desserts. Desserts are easy. Desserts are a very Kroger-friendly category. You can zoom into the Bakery and grab any old thing. Not so easy are the "this is supposed to be our supper, so make it hearty" snacks that my group has to whip up.

I'm getting my sweet revenge. I'm making Ham Buns. If you've never taken the long hard slog of hours to put these things together, allow me to assure you that they are full of ham, butter, cheese and other artery-hating evilness. Tee HEE.

Of course, then i feel guilty, because what the heck is Lydia gonna eat? Maybe I'll stop at Kroger and get her a soy thing.