30 March, 2006

Chocolate Vine II: Revenge Of The Wrens

Clearly the cold snap did no lasting harm to the Chocolate Vine (aka The Pretty But Otherwise Cockroachish Plant).

Yet we have a new dilemma. Birds enjoy making a home within its fragrant branches. I feel much the same about birds as I do pretty much anybody else. They're free to enjoy their lifestyle as long as it doesn't cause me harm. Any consequences are between them and God. Unfortunately, their lifestyle now constitutes perching right above my head as I try to read on the swing. When they aren't perching, their wings are making that Hitchcockian flappety-flap noise that makes me see clowns and ventriloquist's dummies marching toward me in malicious lockstep. When they ARE perching, their bowels are relaxed. And you know what I fear to happen next.

No, I have not yet been crapped on by the tiny birds. But I find myself living in dread.


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