17 May, 2006

What Am I Gonna Do

with all this extra free time I'll have next fall? Let's take a look at the SPOILERS ways in which Network Television has crapped all over my face. (Shout out to Brittney.)

Gilmore Girls
These girls started at as strong independent women who stood up for themselves with humour and panache. They were pretty and smart and funny but still outsiders. A single mom trying to make ends meet and give her daughter the best life possible. This year the fans were treated to the new incarnation of whiny, self-absorbed dilletantes.

The fans wanted Luke & Lorelai. After years hoping, urging, begging and cajoling we finally got that. Only to have them be the most uncharming couple since The Ropers. Any scene with those two had less chemistry than Elton John and Renate Blauel. And then we end the year with Lorelai having rebound sex with Christopher. Never mind that we had the sacred coupling of L&L unravel so completely against all good sense but this is such a been-there-done-him-before cliffhanger. So the Girls are off my Season Pass list.

Grey's Anatomy
Words cannot describe how let-down I feel by the 3 hour tour of Sunday and Monday nights. It has left our entire intern program stranded on Meredith's-A-Whore Island. And yes, Meredith, everyone does get to call you that now. Why? Because we watched another woman's husband pull down your panties on prime-time television. Yes, I know he's your lobster and whatnot. But. You. Don't. Have. Sex. With. Another. Woman's. Husband. EVER.

I can't believe I'm focused on the adultery, when that isn't the worst the show served up. We had, in the course of three hours, some of the dumbest television I've ever seen. Why did it take so long for everyone to notice that the Nazi's interns were missing? At what point did Cristina and Alex decide to abandon their balls to help CAPSLOCK!Izzie cut the cord on Supernatural? And will Grey's stop sharing temp agencies with Veronica Mars already?

I already wrote one post about Prom. It's still a stupid idea more than 24 hours later. For crying out loud, Shonda. I understand wanting to have some quasi-formal backdrop for your cast meltdown, but hospitals have fund-raisers all the time. Especially private ones like Seattle Grace. Couldn't we have gone for the quasi-realism of that instead of the whole Wallace's Girlfriend Has Cancer So Let's Throw Her A Prom? And besides, she passed out while having sex. As I understand it, sex-having is done at the end of prom. There is not an Intercourse Intermission. Then again, I went to Christian Schools where we sublimated our sex-having by eating at Formal Banquets. Whatever.

Yeah. Like I'm watching this without Mark Harmon. I put up with all the other garbage just to see Mark Harmon be taciturn yet charming. I will not be eagerly tuning in to wach the Israeli woman screw up more idioms. I'm sure to some people every weekly malapropism is like the toy in the Cracker Jack. To me it was one of the many irritations I put up with for Mark Harmon. This was my weekly Mark Harmon vehicle. The rest of them can just exist without me watching.

Oh yeah. In case you hadn't caught on, Mark Harmon is leaving the show.


At 8:02 AM, May 17, 2006, Blogger Rex L. Camino said...

I always liked the Ropers. Sure, all the jokes about sexlessness got old, but something about the way Mr. Roper always looked at the camera after making a joke got me every time. It was revolutionary television, it was.

L&L are no Ropers.

At 9:21 AM, May 17, 2006, Blogger SistaSmiff said...

Helen Roper was terribly hip in her mumus and gaudy jewelry and Stanley's homophobia had a certain sweetness. Like when he'd call Jack "Tinkerbelle" and pretend to ring a bell....ahhh the 70's.

Elton & Renate....HEH. I forgot about them two.

At 11:35 AM, May 17, 2006, Blogger Chance said...

I totally agree with your comments concerning Grey's anatomy. The show really should have ended at the 2 hour mark (and I'm not just saying that because of how the story with the heart guy ended).

At 2:57 PM, May 17, 2006, Blogger Michael said...

Just repeat after me...

Dr Who is on Fridays at 8 p.m...

Dr Who is on Fridays at 8 p.m....


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