03 August, 2006

Why Lance Bass' Boyfriend Makes Me Mad

So the biggest non-news at some point last week was that Lance Bass (of NSync) is gay. Fine. Whatever. Although putting out a press release to tell people that is like me putting out a press release to tell people that I like cheese. Both facts are screamingly obvious, and likewise neither fact is news per se. "Hey! Over here we have nations warring. And over there we've got natural disaster. And of course there's always some type of governmental or corporate scandal. Then there's this has-been singer who likes boys. Let's write about that."

But that's not what gets under my skin. The part that irritates me is who his boyfriend is. Reichen Lie^&*%%^$$ul has the distinction of having been on the only season of Amazing Race that I watched. What I remember most about Reichen was his Marriage to Chip. Whenever R&C were on the screen, the kyron proclaimed that they were "Married Couple Chip & Reichen." Several of the voice-overs and camera-face interviews were about how MC:C&R were doing this reality show to prove to both their adversaries on the program and the world at large that gay men could be just as good--nay, better--at marriage than their more vanilla hetero counterparts. I felt kinda beat over the head by Chip & Reichen's Fantastico Marryahj. (As Eddie Izzard would say. Love Eddie Izzard. Watched Dress To Kill again last night and will be asking everyone I meet if they want Cake or Death.)

Anyway. Chip and Reichen. So, they get a "divorce" a few months after winning the misnamed Amazing Race (It is neither, really. It should be called The Mediocre Contest Set in Variously Interesting Locales.). So I guess the message was really that gay celebrity marriage is just like straight celebrity marriage. You spend several months nattering on about how perfect your relationship is and how it is the standard by which all love should be measured. And then you break up. Which irritates the people who had to hear about your Perfect Love and also makes you look a bit cornbread.

So now that I hear that Reichen is in yet another Perfect Love with Lance (*yawn) Bass, I have my cynical hat on my head.


At 11:20 AM, August 03, 2006, Blogger Hi-Heeled Hotties said...

I agree! Just like any other Hollwood marriage...regardless to straight, gay,whatever.

At 1:26 PM, August 03, 2006, Blogger ceeelcee said...

We watch so much Eddie Izzard that when we pop in one of the dvds to show a friend, it doesn't even occur to us to mention he's a sport transvestite. Then we wonder why our Izzard-virgin friends are standing there with their jaws on their chins.

At 6:47 PM, August 03, 2006, Anonymous tom said...

Eddie's an Executive Transvestite. He's sooooo brilliant.

Cake or Death?
Cake please.
We'll we're outta cake...
So my choice is Or Death?
Well I believe I'll have the chicken please.

Didn't you hear? Englebert Humperdink died!

No he didn't.

Yes he did.


A bit more on topic. I'm really sick of Lance Bass. I only hope he's not the reason that Reichen left Chip. Although, I wouldn't be surprised. He's got that man steeling tramp look about him. : )

At 8:50 PM, August 03, 2006, Blogger dolphin said...

I do feel sorry for celebrities (gay or straight) though whose relationship is always under a microscope (at least by one segment of the population).

At 11:55 PM, August 04, 2006, Blogger grandefille said...

I felt kinda beat over the head by Chip & Reichen's Fantastico Marryahj.

I got tired of them getting defensive everytime anybody didn't gush over them being married. They annoyed me greatly because of that. I just wanted them to be a regular couple and go on about their business, and when they got to be jerks, plus the CHEATING they did, augh!!, I quit watching. Plus, there were times with their vogueing that I was reminded of that SNL skit, "Sprockets."

And don't even get me started on the "duh, I'm gay" coverage. (I loved your "like announcing that I like cheese" comparison. Really.) We can't get four column inches about Darfur, but this goof who wants to play astronaut but forgets to pay gets a story every time he sneezes. Feh.

OMG, I love Eddie Izzard. I sing the "God Attack the Queen" song about one of my co-irkers. And his bit about Henry VIII and the Pope always cracks me up. ("What have you been reading, the gospel according to St. Bastard?")


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