How To Tell People That You Are Pregnant Without Making Them Want To Kill You
Today is going to be a day of helpful instruction from your humble host.
First off, there are more people struggling with infertility than you may think. That couple who seems happily childfree may have wanted children for years. That couple who already has two or three children may desperately want more. There are just a whole heck of a lot of people out in the world who want babies but for some reason or another cannot have them right now.
If they're anything like me they struggle between disappointment and acceptence.
But honestly, in the years that I've dealt with the disappointment I've had a realisation. That realisation is that people all around me will still get pregnant, and they don't have to apologise to me about it. Really. I love it when other people get pregnant, as long as they're not my underaged nieces. I would much rather see anyone I know happily have a child than deal with the pain of not being able to.
I know, though, that those around me always wonder how to tell me. And I'm fairly sure that for every person who gets pregnant there is at least one fertility challenged sister/best friend/coworker who casts a shadow over the good news of the newly-expecting. So allow me to enlighten you.
1. Just tell them. "Hey, we're pregnant."
You'd be surprised at how well this works. 90% of the time folks like me see this coming anyway. And we like to be treated as though we are still members of polite society.
2. Don't make any references to the ease of conception
See, this is the tricky part. While "Hey, we're pregnant" works just fine, following it up with "....and it only took ONE TRY" or "I guess our plumbing's working!" is what most people would consider tacky. Especially when your audience includes people who have had a try every other day for years and/or whose plumbing is most definitely NOT working.
3. Don't follow up your annoucement with an inquiry into the fertility of your audience.
People will be happy for your pregnancy. But that in no way obligates them to answer rude questions like "So when are you guys joining the club?" I know the temptation for announcing pregnancy to infertile friends is to then politely enquire about how their process is going. But I am being honest when I say that for many people in my boat the one thing that keeps us able to be happy for you is by keeping the focus ON you. I can be happy for your pregnancy, but when you follow that up immediately with reminding me that I have a tender spot it might make me cry. And that would ruin your announcement for both of us.
No, we don't expect the rest of the world to keep it sewn up. Really.