06 January, 2007

And Just What Makes YOU So Desirable Anyway?

I've been so wrapped up in my own sorrows that I've not spent as much time following comments over at NiT as I normally would. Given what I just saw, that's probably a good thing.

I am OUTRAGED by this. Not peeved. Not purturbed. Outraged.

Brittney posted a YouTube video of Pink Kitty at one of her dance shows. Anyone who reads PK or knows her in person knows several things about her. She loves to dance and has a passionate spirit that matches her love for belly dancing and enough fiery romance to fuel her love for ballroom dance. They also know that she is overweight, but less than she used to be, due to a very serious diet that she takes very seriously. Also due to the hours she slavishly devotes to her intense love of dance. PK is very open on her blog about her struggles with weight and body image, and she's very open about her personal journey. (Full Disclosure: I love Pink Kitty. She's my friend.)

I can't get the video to play on my computer, because Safari and YouTube don't always play nice, so I can't vouch for the content, although I'm sure that--like other photos and videos I've seen of PK's dancing--it's full of beauty, confidence and a fun spirit that embraces the best in life. Which is why the comment from Wintermute made me so mad. His only response to this video was a rude comment about PK's weight. That was completely rude, completely uncalled-for and boorish and churlish and about fifty other words.

Funnily enough, insults about my own weight don't bother me all that much. I mean, I know I'm not thin. In fact I know that "thin" describes absolutely nothing about me except perhaps my earlobes and top lip. And I've generally chosen to adopt the attitude that if all you see is the fat, you're missing the best parts and it's your loss and by the way you yourself are not Errol Flynn or Clara Bow.

Which brings me to my next point. Wintermute's comment was specifically
Skip It Dudes. Another blogging whale.

I've met a lot of us women bloggers. None of us are fashion models (except maybe Kate O'), that's for sure. We're all fantastic women of various shapes and sizes who look like real people. We're not all one size, because one size does not fit all in this real world. But we're all fantastic in our own ways.

Here's the thing. I've also met a lot of the men bloggers out there. The same holds true for them. The same various shapes and sizes and degrees of head hair. This appeal to some brotherhood of "dudes" with the power to dismiss a woman based on her (supposedly inferior) looks is a gross misunderstanding of who the internet population actually is.

I'm so outraged that I can't think of an appropriate closing for this post. But hey, congratulations to Wintermute who not only pulled me out of my own self-absorption long enough to actually write on a Saturday but also very nearly gave me enough incentive to drive to Memphis.


At 11:39 AM, January 06, 2007, Blogger CHEZ BEZ said...

Well said. I cringe on the behalf of other people's feelings when I read comments like his.

Thanks for speaking up for true beauty. I saw Pink Kitty's video and it was awesome.

At 12:32 PM, January 06, 2007, Blogger Aunt B said...

I missed this too. What a jerk! (And of course, I mean something much stronger than that.)

Well, at least this is the end of me having to consider anything he says as stemming from any kind of credibility.

At 12:47 PM, January 06, 2007, Blogger Slartibartfast said...


Out of respect for your site, Kat, I won't threaten violence.

But I'm damn sure thinking it...

At 1:02 PM, January 06, 2007, Anonymous nm said...

Yes, that was nasty. And although PK wasn't doing belly dancing in that clip, her body is practically the ideal for it -- I bet she's great.

When I used to dance a few nights a week, my favorite partner was a heavy (and heavy-set) guy. He was smooth on his feet, imaginative, gave a clear, subtle lead ... dancing with him was like dancing in your dreams. Just wonderful. One night a stranger showed up at our group. To be polite and make her feel welcome, he asked her to dance. After which she said, "gee, you're really light on your feet for such a heavy guy." You can bet that she sat everything out after that. I don't know why people feel the need to be so hateful.

At 4:04 PM, January 06, 2007, Anonymous tom said...

Yeah, I should probably stay out of this since I don't know these people, but your outrage piqued my curiosity.

That was rude of that guy to say that.
I really loved the video. Just because someone doesn't fit into a size 2 dress, it doesn't mean they should be discouraged from dancing.

PS, sis, download firefox.

At 4:46 PM, January 06, 2007, Anonymous Kate O' said...

I completely missed this, too. What a shitty thing to say, and even more so, what a shitty thing to think.

At 4:52 PM, January 06, 2007, Blogger John H said...

ditto to what you said, Kat. I don't understand how anyone can be so rude..and ditto on the suggestion for Firefox. Firefox, rox.

At 7:12 PM, January 06, 2007, Blogger Newscoma said...

It was a shitty thing to say.
I really wasn't that familiar with Pink Kitty.
After going to her blog and perusing around a bit, I think she is cool beans.
And as for Wintermute.
I cringed. Cringed hard because he obviously doesn't care about the fact that everyone should be treated with value.
Golden Rule and all. It really works.

At 7:38 PM, January 06, 2007, Anonymous Tim W. said...

Hi Kat,

1. Have you considered Firefox? I'm a Mac guy too, and as you obviously know, Safari is a finicky browser. I'd be willing to wager that Firefox 2.0 with the Flash plug-in would allow you to play the You Tube videos just fine.

2. The imbecilic quote from Wintermute reminded me instantly of another, apocryphal quote:

"It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

I was impressed with how deeply Pink Kitty was "feeling" her dance. Good stuff.


At 11:05 PM, January 06, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not only was Wintermutts comment rude it seemed so out of place. As the blogosphere, and internet in general, grows, so does the sophifistication and maturity of the general user. Has Wintermute been to a blogger meetup? Does he not know how the NiT group has become such a close knit group a friends? The social ramifications for such online actions are much more severe. Socially, blogs are not so much the "Wild West" any more. Civility is now in vogue.

At 7:57 AM, January 07, 2007, Blogger Newscoma said...

He's from Memphis.
I will say that this is not the first time this sort of behavior has occured from him.

At 5:15 PM, January 07, 2007, Blogger Heather said...

Reading the comment made my heart hurt. I hate meanness just the sake of it.

At 6:15 PM, January 07, 2007, Blogger tatiana said...

I found this via Aunt B's post. i went to chck out the video. PK is marvelous. She exudes confidence & sexuality most women can only dream of. Who cares if she carries a few extra Lbs?

WTF?!?!? wintermute!? I then went to his site. Not only is he pathetic. And childish. He's a horror to look at. Not to say that looking good or *better* than another gives you the right to be rude to others, but he is just - well, *smarmy.* To top it off, I read on his profile that he is a lawyer. Not a litigator, I hope - I can't even begin to imagine the juvenile arguments he makes in court to look *cool*. Loser.

Dance on, Miss Kitty! You rock. As do you, Catherine. Thanks for bringing this fuckjob to our attention. There's are special place in hell for the likes of him, but I'm too much a lady to describe it. See ya!

At 6:25 PM, January 07, 2007, Anonymous Muffy said...

I don't know why people feel the need to be so mean. Attacking a person's weight is the lowest thing you can do, next to being outright racist. Perhaps worse still.

You're so right - that's the beauty of blogging isn't it? It's a non-discriminatory activity that unites like-MINDED people, regardless of looks or size.

Thanks for the link, this is why I love you and your blog - you keep things real, and you don't hold back and you create thought.

Also, you have awesome taste in jewelry and you're one of the nicest people I've ever met!!!

At 6:29 PM, January 07, 2007, Anonymous Muffy said...

P.S:, there's a LOT I could say that's not very nice about Wintermule.

But that'd just be sinking to his molestache level right? Besides, I think he's just looking for hits to his blog.

At 6:26 AM, January 08, 2007, Blogger John H said...

Muffy - I think you have hit the nail..so to speak. I'm guessing the asshat is getting lots of hits. I refuse to fall for that (not trying to dis' the folks who have).

But, why give this adolescent sensibility any affirmation of any kind?

At 1:28 PM, January 08, 2007, Blogger Patrick said...

And look what Wintermute posted a while back...


Respect unto others, eh?

At 1:29 PM, January 08, 2007, Blogger Patrick said...

Try again:

Wintermute's "respect" post

At 5:11 PM, January 08, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you think what he wrote about Pink Kitty was bad, check out his blog (www.dailydocket.blogspot.com/) from November 5, 2006.


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