04 February, 2007

It's Raining (for) Men

Yeah, okay. I wanted to have this post be about the shower, but I'm tired of the word "shower" so the title, albeit both broadly reaching and subtly gay, is my attempt at cleverness. Moving right along...

It is a known fact (among those who care) that I hate HATE hate showers. I will go to them if they are for people I really like. Or coworkers. Yesterday's shower was of the non-traditional variety. Somehow they managed to capture the best about showers (i.e. cake) while avoiding the worst (i.e. games involving the playing of games). And I had a really good time, until just now when I saw the pictures. Ugh. I was formerly proud have having lost 36 lbs (now 39). Seeing the pictures makes me realise that, like a 1000 clowns at the bottom of the ocean, is only a good start.

Things Most Showers Have That I Hate Which Were Not At This Shower (Besides Games):

1. People talking endlessly about their own horrible pregnancies, deliveries and the malformation of babies of friends of theirs. Just because you brought the poor woman some diapers doesn't mean she should have to hear about your cousin Julie's delivery-room nightmare.

2. Vegetable trays with that "dip" which is really a runny dressing and won't stay on your veggies. You are then left with a mouthful of carrot that tastes exactly like carrot. Ugh.

3. Coworkers of the honoree whom you've never met before but seem boorish and make you understand exactly why the honoree hates her job.

4. Some grown person wearing a baby bonnet around in an attempt to bring levity to the torture that is the shower experience.

5. One really elderly person who can't hear what's going on, doesn't remember or care about any of the people she was introduced to and whom you hate because she gets to be exempt from The Dreaded Games by (probably feigning) being asleep.

Things This Shower Had That I Loved Which Were Not At Other Showers I've Been To:

1. Barbecue

2. Aunt B.'s discussion of Chicagoy and what that would entail.

3. A conversation about the Serial Killer Grudge Match between Illinois and Indiana. They have Gacy, we had Manson. Who wins?

4. My husband

5. Lots of people I really enjoyed talking to

See, this is how you should do a shower. I've decided that should I ever fall pregnant, I'd like a co-ed shower. Lydia suggested throwing me a poker tournament shower. I think that'd be ideal because you could send out invitations which say "He poked her, so we're playing poker." It'd be funny. Unless we were adopting. Then it'd just be weird.

Anyway, I loved seeing everyone again and I'm happy for the Sarcastros: Mama, Papa and baby Sergio.


At 10:39 AM, February 04, 2007, Anonymous Kate O' said...

Woman, you are funny as hell. Best write-up. "1000 clowns at the bottom of the ocean" ... "he poked her"... and so on.

Thing I loved about this shower? The observation about moving from room to room and hearing wildly different subjects of conversation. I'd like to say it was no coincidence that the room Aunt B, Dr. Funkenswine, Ginger, you, and I were in was the one with the smutty talk. We're just reliable that way, I think.

And FWIW, to me, you looked gorgeous. The pictures at these events hardly ever do anyone justice.

At 11:56 AM, February 04, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Illinois wins - Gacy did his own dirty work. Sorry.

At 4:59 PM, February 04, 2007, Anonymous Mister Nashville said...

Significant Other went to a shower this afternoon. Somehow, I was the one who ended up making the trip to Target to get something off of their registry. Not only was most of the junk not in stock... but the other stuff ended up being a minimum of $50. I'm not big on spending $50 on people I don't know.

At least I didn't have to go to the shower.

At 5:20 PM, February 04, 2007, Anonymous shauna said...

I was a jerk and didn't show up, but I think you look pretty good in the pictures. Which means you probably looked super good in person.

At 5:25 PM, February 04, 2007, Blogger Amy said...

this post made me laugh out loud, twice. that clowns metaphor was priceless. and the "poked her" invitations? wow...

p.s. I thought your title was clever, anyway :)

At 3:37 AM, February 05, 2007, Blogger Kat Coble said...

Like Prince, you all rock. Except for Anon, who is wrong. Gacy, Scmacy.

(I shouldn't comment on my blog when I have iTunes running in the background. This is the third place I've said "rock".)

Anyway, thanks for the encouragement. I hate pictures.

Amy, I wish you had come out. I still have yet to actually meet you.

Kate, for some reason we seem to draw the smutty talk out of folks.

Mr. N, can I just tell you that while I'm not big on spending $50 for people I don't know, I think I'd rather spend $50 than go to a sh----r most times

At 3:37 AM, February 05, 2007, Blogger Kat Coble said...

And shauna,

You weren't a jerk. But I did miss you.

At 10:35 AM, February 05, 2007, Blogger Chance said...

Somehow, the idea of "couples showers" has become popular. Terrible, terrible idea. Unless they have beer. And all the guys can play X-box.

At 11:09 AM, February 05, 2007, Blogger ceeelcee said...

I am so in for the poker shower.

I hope it's soon!

At 2:43 PM, February 05, 2007, Blogger Malia said...

One really elderly person who can't hear what's going on, doesn't remember or care about any of the people [s]he was introduced to

but Sarcastro was there!

(I'm just poking - no that that poking - fun at him for not remembering when we met!)

At 9:48 AM, February 07, 2007, Blogger Aunt Lydia said...

I'm shocked that you let someone take your picture! You always get mad at me when I try! ;-)


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