How To Get Yourself Beat Up In Third Grade
It's St. Patrick's Day.
I hate St. Patrick's Day. When we were little kids, my father insisted that we wear orange. I get it now that I'm 35 and have spent years studying the history of Great Britain and Ireland, but when you're eight it just doesn't work. When you're eight and you show up at school without wearing green and all the other kids pinch you it's very hard to explain. Somehow saying "We are a Protestant family who did not support the Catholic self-rule of the Irish people" to other eight year olds just gets you pinched even more. And laughed at.
Of course, now that I'm older and have spent all those years studying history I must say that although I am not Catholic I firmly support the right of the Irish to self-government.
I just don't own any green clothes.