Top 10 Things We've Learned From This Week's LOST

1. At least one of the creators is a huge fan of that one Bob Dylan video.

2. Benjamin Linus thinks all blond white women look alike.

3. Adewale put on a wee bit o' weight between seasons.

4. K-Co much prefers episodes WITHOUT Evangeline Lilly.

5. Jack is so hungry for a cheeseburger that he doesn't even stop to ask where the beef (or perhaps "beef") came from. Did he look under the sheet to make sure that was all of Colleen's body? I mean, those of us who've read Candide are much more cautious about the sudden appearance of fresh meat. Maybe they don't teach Voltaire in spine surgery school.

6. At least one of the creators is a huge fan of Les Miserables.

7. One of the characters on the beach must really be desperate for some lines. I refer specifically to the dude who yelled "It's hot!!" while pulling Eko's body from the burning hut.

8. The creators found some Latin guy who looks like he could be Sawyer's twin brother. I guess this is for all the women out there who like that Sawyer type of guy. (Note: I am not one of them. If I were to have a thing for any man on the island it would be Locke. But I don't, so no worries there, honey.)

9. Some dude with an eyepatch is stuck in some other hatch someplace. Oh goody. Now we can speculate for MONTHS about "eyepatch dude"'s origins and purpose, only to have the producers forget all about it while they cook up some other red herring. Does anyone remember the creepy psychic kid with the dog? Where's our closure on THAT storyline? Note to producers: putting the rapidly-maturing kid on a slow boat to civilisation with his annoying dad does NOT equal closure.

10. If any of us ever gets an acting gig on this show it is imperative that we NOT be arrested for any type of traffic violation whatsoever. Kissy Jobby Bye-Bye.

Special Bonus Round
After next week's Big Fall Finale they're taking LOST off the air until February 2007. Until then ABC expects to hold us enraptured. By remaking Groundhog Day as a thriller-type show called Daybreak. Given how I've watched a full "season" of LOST without anything happening, I don't know if I could tell the difference between LOST and another show where one day repeats itself endlessly. You know, I'm just sayin'...