Fat Babies Are Bad, Government Intervention Required
Sigh. I feel like a lone voice in the wilderness sometimes.
It's taken me a long time to morph into a libertarian, primarily because I'm leery of the misconception that all libertarians are Republicans who want to smoke pot. (By the way, if you are one of the people who has said that to me recently please realise that you're not clever and that's only the 9000000th time I've heard it.)
I started with a libertarian school of thought because of something my mother said to me when I was probably ten or eleven. I told her I thought the government should take away my relative's child because they smoked around her. My mom countered with "how would you like the government to take you away from me because I'm fat?"
That introduced me to the concept of the dangers of a nanny state. That someone would actually think my parents were unfit just because they were overweight was both annoying and scary to me. Back then, though, I rested comfortably in the notion that my mom was using hyperbole to make her case.
Hyperbole until now, that is. Sarah Moore writes this morning in praise of the British government's attempts to take custody of a fat 8 year-old from his parents. They're fat, he's fat. Clearly they will destroy him with their fatness, so the government must--For The Children--step in. Moore claims the child is abused because his incredible fatness will get him mocked throughout life and possibly lead to diabetes. So clearly the best thing here would be for the British Government to raise the boy.
You know what? I agree. I think mockery and the potential for later disease is a very good reason for the State to intervene in any private family. That's why I think we should take all children away from single parents. Studies show that children do best with a mother and a father under the same roof. And there are still bullies who mock kids from single-parent households. So let's have the government step in here.
I also think we should take children away from all bi-racial couples. Clearly they will be mocked, and they are of course subject to various genetic conditions depending on the race of the couple.
Furthermore, I think it is abusive to raise a child in a Muslim or Jewish or athiest household. This is a Christian nation. If you are not a Christian you will be mocked. And you may have a genetic predispostion to Taye-Sachs or alcoholism or whatever. We'll come up with something. Meanwhile, the State will step in.
Ah, what a brave new world!
If I ever do have a baby, I'll make sure to have you all at the weekly inspections of his health. After all, I'm fat and can't be trusted to parent my child.