16 February, 2007

The Perfect Rock Song

There are lots of Rock songs out there. They have one thing in common. They are not sung by John Mayer. Beyond that, there are plenty of differences.

My love of all things Meat Loaf should never be called into question. So while I admit that I think Bat Out Of Hell is the most perfect album ever, I have to say that I'm stuck trying to decide between three finalists for greatest SONG out there. Help me out.

I'm trying to decide between these three:

1) Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen

Are you kidding me? Is there another song out there that is more deserving? Another song that makes you want to get up and dance no matter how out of it you are? It has everything. Freddy Mercury's voice and praise of Fat Girls. And the drums. I was tempted to crown this one automatically, but then I remembered the other two.

2) You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC

Yes, I admit that in a perfect world this song would play whenever I walked into a room. Okay, maybe not at church. But other rooms, undoubtedly. I hope they make a movie about me so there can be at least one scene where the person playing me walks into a room and this song goes through the mind of the person playing my husband. Granted, it's not necessarily the song you think of when you think "monogamous Christian couple", but it should be. All women everywhere should want their lovers to think of this song when they think of them.

3) Making Love(Out Of Nothing At All) by Air Supply

Just Kidding. Wanted to see if you were paying attention. But it WAS written by Jim Steinman, so there.

3) (really) Rock Around the Clock by Bill Haley and the Comets

This is THE song. The one that started it all. Sure, it may take a moment or two get the "Happy Days" credits out of your head--admit it, you still picture the spilled milkshake--but if you get past it, it's a great song.

That's it. Now I have to pick one.

Oh, if you don't mind losing your appetite, you can check out this pathetic excuse for a cover. Seriously, someone needs to make this woman STOP.


At 4:03 AM, February 16, 2007, Anonymous Roger Abramson said...

Number two is hard to beat, but I'd put I Fought The Law (and the Law Won) up there with it. Extremely singable, first of all, but also tells the story (unintentionally) of rock and roll history. From the early rebelliousness (I fought the law) to its eventual co-option and taming by the music business (and the law won).

At 4:21 AM, February 16, 2007, Blogger Kat Coble said...

I guess we both have insomnia...

But, really, that's way too deep.

This is supposed to be about mindless thumping drums, not an elegy of the music business....

Is elegy the right word? I think so...

At 4:39 AM, February 16, 2007, Anonymous Roger Abramson said...

Perhaps. Could just be on my mind because Lileks played it on the Diner last week.

At 6:21 AM, February 16, 2007, Blogger Slartibartfast said...

Number 2, hands down.

It may be generational though, bevause number 3 has a very special place in my heart.

But, is there anyone who doesn't have a visceral reaction as soon as Angus' guitar hits those first few chords, then those drums kick in? Most poeople I know let out some kind of scream or yell.

At 7:51 AM, February 16, 2007, Anonymous nm said...

Y'all are making me feel very old. Well, not Roger, who may be right about I Fought the Law. But otherwise ...
Because the award for Ultimate Opening Chord In A Rock Song has to go to A Hard Day's Night. Tis is simply not debateable.

At 8:18 AM, February 16, 2007, Anonymous grandefille said...

I agree with you, Ms. C. And you and you and you, roger, slarti and nm.

I would have to add my personal favorite, though. The Clash's "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" Not only is it the eternal existential question, but truly, who does not scream along with Joe Strummer after the opening chords and the plink?

At 9:00 AM, February 16, 2007, Anonymous Kate O' said...

Ooh, great choices. But what about "Rock N Roll" by Led Zeppelin? Or "It's Only Rock N Roll" by The Rolling Stones? On that last one, I have this to note: a Chicago rock station had a station promo they ran periodically with a collage of rock-themed songs, and it was fascinating to be able to hear such well-known singers back-to-back and hear the differences in their styles. What stood out about Mick Jagger was how much energy he packed into every bit of that hook: "I know / It's only rock n roll / But I like it" especially when compared with Paul McCartney and several of the other singers in the spot.

At 9:28 AM, February 16, 2007, Blogger Kat Coble said...

The Stones...The Stones...

How could I have forgotton Sympathy ?!?

Although it's a bit too cerebral for a true ROCK song, those opening drums and Mick's working the lyrics will get me every time.

At 9:31 AM, February 16, 2007, Blogger Kat Coble said...

Oh, and for all you "Fought the Law", here's The Clash doing a medley of Koka Kola and I Fought The Law. Not bad.

At 10:48 AM, February 16, 2007, Anonymous nm said...

If you have never seen the DVD of Bobby Fuller and band performing on the old Hullaballoo show (which was notorious for kitschy set), doing I Fought the Law in a jail cell with teenyboppers screaming and shaking the bars, you must do so.

Bobby Fuller also had a very rock and roll death.

At 11:39 AM, February 16, 2007, Blogger Miss O'Hara said...

"Okay, maybe not at church." lol

I have to say I've never, ever liked that song. It sounds great, but I always hear it in the wrong (read: nonmarital) context. Frankly, I doubt most men screaming along with this one are thinking of a wife, but some hot, faceless body instead.

"Rock Around the Clock" is awesome. One of my all-time favourites.

At 10:06 PM, February 16, 2007, Anonymous tom said...

OH NO YOU DINT make me click through to Celine Dion!!!!!

*Gouges out own eyes*

Seriously, the best line in "Making love (out of nothing at all)" is "...I can make all the stadiums rock."

You're kidding, right. You're AIR SUPPLY! moron! You can't make the Ambassador Club at the O'Hare Airport rock!

I have so many songs that I love, but I really wanted to bring up the frenetic blues and lyrical oddessey that is "Chickenman" by the Indigo Girls. It's a folk-rock anthem about a traveler meeting some kind of witch doctor holyman. It's got a rolling pulse like "Radar Love" and an earthy Harmonica track that fuse together in an unconventional way to invigorate the soul.

At 9:46 PM, February 17, 2007, Blogger grandefille said...

If we're bringing up the Indigos, I dare y'all not to sing along with "Hammer and a Nail." Just sayin'.

What show was I watching several months ago that had the absolute best use of "Sympathy for the Devil" I'd seenin forever? *wracks brain* Aaargh! I can't remember! So frustrating! Anyway, it was ... wait, was it ... no, it was Ghost Whisperer! Yes. (Stop looking at me. I mentally put an afghan over Jennifer Love Hewitt's ghost-bustin' rack every time they show it, but the show often is really good. And yes, we miss coming in on Friday nights to takeout and the X-Files, what of it?)

Aaaaanyway. The mysterious very nice guy was standing about and pondering something mysteriously yet nicely and you're thinking, "Hmmm, is Mysterious Nice Guy a ghost or an angel sent to help her or really a real person or ..." and all of a sudden you hear those first drum beats and the piano. That's it. They never went into the lyrics. Just the music. You really had no idea they were going there.

I yelled. Eeeek!


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