21 February, 2007


Adulthood has ruined pizza for me.

Once upon a Hoosier kidhood, pizza was the holy grail of suppers. How could it not help but stand out in a sea of oven steak, spam cassarole, meat loaf and chicken n' noodles? Pretty much everything else we ate was a dull mush of Germano-American farmhouse fuel. (I can still make pretty much any type of thing into a gravy.) But the days when pizza was on the menu were like heaven to me. I could rest comfortably throughout the day knowing that I had garlicky sauce, stringy cheese and spicy meat to look forward to. If parents, teachers or friends wanted to motivate me, all they had to do was dangle the promise of pizza in front of me and I'd be theirs for the asking. In fact, I'm pretty sure that pizza is the sole reason I went to several youth group functions at my church.

Then I became an adult who could eat whatever she wanted. I'm not quite certain exactly when it happened, but somewhere between twenty-two and today pizza became the thing I settle for. When I know that I will be hungry for supper but don't want to fix anything, I'll eat pizza. It's become the food equivalent of syndicated sit-com reruns. You know that you used to love it and look forward to it, but now you use it as filler.

Outgrowing the simple pleasures of life is never a good thing. I guess my only consolation is that at least now I have sex to look forward to. If the day arrives when sex is no longer a thing I anticipate, please just box me up and send me back to the factory.


At 8:02 AM, February 21, 2007, Blogger Slartibartfast said...

Was there ever anything that made high school bearable more than pizza day? Granted, it was horrible pizza by most standards, but it was pizza. In school!

I soured on pizza after several years working in a pizza parlor. Although I can still, to this day, make a pretty good crust.

But alas. The only pizza allowed on WW is pretty inedible. (that's a word, right?)

Although Lean cuisine's BBQ chicken pizza is wonderful. But I don't know if that actually qualifies as 'pizza'.

So Kat, is the place where you are from one of those that considers thin crust to be a heresy?

At 8:29 AM, February 21, 2007, Anonymous Roger Abramson said...

Thin crust is a heresy and should be stomped out to extinction. It's a menace!

There are many reasons, but here's just one: they charge you the same for a think as a regular, when there's less stuff. Bandits they are!

At 8:52 AM, February 21, 2007, Blogger Malia said...

If the day arrives when sex is no longer a thing I anticipate, please just box me up and send me back to the factory.

Me, too!! That's a very unsettling thought.

One problem with the pizza thing is it's hard to find really good pizza around here. There are a few places, but alas, they don't deliver! And they're more expensive. Boo!

My favorite pizza nights are when we make it ourselves. Hey Slarti! I need your pizza dough recipe!!

At 9:08 AM, February 21, 2007, Blogger Slartibartfast said...

Malia, are you OK with whole wheat crust? My dad's a diabetic, and I accidentally discovered an incredible whole wheat crust recipe while trying to make him a pizza.

It is my absolute favorite. Whole wheat, when done correctly, adds a texture and flavor to pizza that is just heavenly. When I get home tonight, I'll send it to you.

At 10:03 AM, February 21, 2007, Blogger Kat Coble said...

It's not that I consider thin crust heresy per se. It's just that I don't consider it PIZZA.

It's more like an hors d'oevre or a canape when it's got a thin crust.

Then again, a real stick-to-your-ribs Chicago style pizza is a lot like a casserole.

I'll eat both, but my taste tends toward thicker crust.

But when a Chicago pizza woman marries a New York Pizza man, you have to arrive at a level of pizza detente.

And, hey, Slarti, if you would be so kind as to count me in on the pizza dough recipe that'd be great. I'm with Malia; down here the best pizza you can get anymore is the one you make yourself.

At 10:51 AM, February 21, 2007, Anonymous "Lola" said...

Nothing will give you a renewed appreciation for the flavor of pizza, ANY pizza, like 3 months on Optifast! Flavor is like heaven to me now. I wouldn't recommend my method of renewing your love for pizza, though. Now that I'm off the shakes, I'm counting calories and exercising like a fiend, and I can't seem to lose any more weight! My metabolism is shot!

At 12:12 PM, February 21, 2007, Blogger Patrick said...

Slarti, in a pinch, try the new Lean Pockets Whole Grain pizzas - thick crust (it's on both sides,) not too awful taste, and only 4 points (if memory serves me right.)

At 2:22 PM, February 21, 2007, Blogger Malia said...

I would LOVE to have a whole wheat crust recipe!! I found a couple on the Internet awhile back but they didn't work so well, so I just went back to packaged stuff...yuck!

maliakainani at hotmail dot com

At 4:46 PM, February 21, 2007, Anonymous nm said...

You can get very good New York style pizza at PizzaReal in East Nashville. I never was all that much of a pizza fan, but sometimes I wish I had a St. Louis style pizza. It has a very, very thin, crisp crust, and is served cut into squares. I just can't tell why it hasn't become the standard for pizza everywhere.

At 6:22 AM, February 22, 2007, Blogger Slartibartfast said...

nm, I spent quite a few years working for Pizza Inn. I think they were a Texas chain. Our thin crust was so thin it was like having pizza on a cracker. It was wonderful for on or two topping pizzas, horrible for supremes.

I've also been excommunicated from the pizza lovers club because every now and the I actually LIKE Canadian Bacon and pineapple pizza. I even like onions on it.

Everybody: I've sent myself an email (from work to home) to force myself to remember to post the whole wheat crust recipe. I'll try to post it before the Predators game tonight.

At 10:37 AM, February 22, 2007, Blogger Exador said...

I don't want to start a whole pizza war, but you midwesterners don't know pizza.

Call me a purist, but nothing compares with NY pizza, especially that CAKE of pizza they serve in Chicago. It's a Calzone, for heaven's sake.

I have two good places here in town. I recommend you request half the cheese and extra sauce. It is good sauce that makes good pizza.

At 11:03 AM, February 22, 2007, Anonymous nm said...

What are your two good places for pizza?

At 11:19 AM, February 22, 2007, Blogger Kat Coble said...

They're in Atlanta with him.

Way to tease, Exador.

At 12:15 PM, February 22, 2007, Blogger dolphin said...

Still LOVE pizza.

I think it's because The Boyfriend$trade; is allergic to both dairy and wheat (that means no cheese and no crust), so pizza is completely out of the question. That means I can only eat pizza when I'm eating alone, or with people other than him. Being that it's still something I don't get to eat that often, it's still something that I look forward to.

I guess I'm extra lucky because I get to anticipate both pizza AND sex (not necessarily together).

At 1:11 PM, February 22, 2007, Anonymous nm said...

Ah well. At least I live near the one good pizza place here. My problem with pizza in Nashville is that you can't get a slice to walk out with anywhere except Pizza Perfect. And they're OK and all, but when I saw them heating up my slice under an infrared thingy I got kind of grossed out.

P.S. There is thick crust pizza in NYC. It's just called Sicilian, is all.

At 10:46 PM, February 22, 2007, Blogger Exador said...

In Atlanta, Go to Fellini's on Ponce. They have excellent NY, and great sicillian. Plus, if you sit outside, you can watch all the crazy homeless people walk by.
Their salads are excellent.

Farther north, in Duluth, there is Zappolli's on Pleasant Hill. That's my favorite. There's also, Rudy's Pizza. Just opened on Steve Reynolds BLVD.


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