I HATE THE OLYMPICS

As I have already made plain, I cannot stand January and February. They are always always always sucktastic. Usually, though, they are redeemed in small portion by the fact that there are fun things to watch in the evenings. But no. Now it's time for the *snore* Olympics.

I liked them when I was a kid. When they were in Lake Placid, and again in Montreal. Figure skating was coming into its own, and the part of me that loves drag shows, disco and other fantastic glamour activities just loves to watch figure skating. But now the world has caught on and that's on all the time. Any random Saturday has The Nestle Hot Cocoa Ice Dancing Championship or some such frivolity. Why bother waiting for the Gillooly Hour? And of course there was Eric (yum) Heiden and the Miracle USA Hockey team in 1980--neither of which are likely to repeat themselves in the current zeitgeist. Since there will never be a show like that again, I'm not getting up lather about it.

Besides--and I'll admit this freely--I am zonecentric about my Olympics. When they're held in my approximate time zone, that's cool. I feel like I'm actually watching a contest. Whenever the games are held in East Wherethehellistan, everything that takes up my valuable The Office time is just a tape-delayed recap. You can find out who actually won the event with two clicks of the mouse. Why watch a foregone conclusion? Did I mention that I'm not always process-oriented?