18 October, 2006

::Snort:: Yeah, Right

One of my widgets is courtesy of changesomething.org and I swear that it's like having my bossy, self-righteous ex-coworker available at the touch of F12. Except the widget doesn't prattle on endlessly about how fantastic it is and what an interesting life it has had compared to mine. That's a relief.

Anyway, the premise of my Change Widget is that it gives me a little piece of advice each day that is supposed to allow me to live a healthier life. Most of it is of the "well, duh" variety (take the stairs instead of the elevator; drink lots of water) but today's was obviously brought to you by the letters H, E, C, K, N, and O.

Wake up. Do 20 situps before you even have time to think about it.


Clearly this person doesn't live in my house. The routine goes like this:

Wake up because your bladder is full. Fervently pray that spouse is either still in bed or completely done in the bathroom. Run to bathroom. Turn on blinding light to scare away any random centipedes. Sit on cold toilet seat. Wince. Open door to demanding dog who is scratching to come lie on the cool tile. Finish bathroom needs. Try to go back to bed for five minutes of rest without stepping on the other dog. Lie in bed worrying about everything that needs done that day.

There is absolutely no point in that whole routine for any subconsious upsitting. And even if there were, between the two dogs, six book piles and last night's clothes, there's no room on the floor.

2 Comments:

At 5:17 PM, October 19, 2006, Blogger Rob Robinson said...

That morning routine reminds me of mine: Wake up to alarm clock (cat #1 on or near chest whining to be fed) and clock radio. Kiss spouse, feed cats who continue to cry while food is being dispensed until it hits the dish. Go to the bathroom. Take a shower, with or without cat #1 who frequently likes to stand in the spray. Shave (or not). Think about all the things I have to do that day throughout. Kiss spouse goodbye before heading to work. (Some elements omitted.)

 
At 2:35 PM, October 22, 2006, Anonymous brittney said...

This post made me smile. Very funny.

 

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