07 February, 2006

Dear Netflix

Dear Netflix:

I applied for membership in your Augusta National Film Club this Saturday. Here I am, three days into my 14-day trial period, and already disgruntled.


Well, the first thing I did after signing up was request Babylon 5: the entire series on 30 DVDs. I understand I am allowed only 2 DVDs in my possession at any one time. This is fine with me because I also have books to read, TiVo to watch and blog entries to type.


What on earth has possessed you to send me Disc 2 BEFORE you send me Disc 1?


At 3:13 PM, February 07, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Katherine,

If I'm not mistaken, you're paying $14.99 a month to participate in our service. For that amount you receive an unlimited number of movies from our extensive catalogue, paid shipping and the promise of never having to pay a late fee.

In order to provide you with this service at that price it is necessary for us to employ workers of questionable nationality who may or may not have a sufficiently adequate grasp of the English language to make the distinction between Disc 1 and Disc 2 of Babylon 5.

Please keep in mind that we also rely upon your $14.95 monthly subscription fee to finance aggressive marketing campaigns, inflated executive salaries, corporate sponsorships and, oh yes, the salaries of personnel who have nothing better to do than to troll the blogosphere for posts by pissy sci-fi geeks who don't have enough taste to realize that Babylon 5 only became worth watching in later seasons when Mr. Ingals Wilder took over the helm.

In short, dear valued customer, chill out and get a life, lest we "confuse" your next order and send you the Criterion Collection edition of Roadhouse.

NetFlix Customer Service

At 4:20 PM, February 07, 2006, Blogger Kat Coble said...

Dear Overpaid Netflix Blogtroller,

Thank you for taking the time to respond to my concerns, and so quickly, too. Although given that I've never doubted the Netflix turnaround time I guess I should really admit that I'm just more surprised that you didn't respond to a complaint I hadn't made yet, instead of the issue at hand.

While I realise that the pre-Boxleitner years are not as, shall we say, good I feel that I should do the thing properly and begin at the beginning. That's the only reason I didn't pop Disc 2 (the one with the giant "2" on it) into the player the instant it arrives.

But even more than that, know that your threats have absolutely no threat value. I am completely and utterly crazy about the movie "Roadhouse". There is no greater movie in existence. Where else can you find the perfect mix of effette man kicking butt, idiot men screwing women in the butt, blind guitar players, murderous stuffed polar bears and the old guy from Emergency who wasn't as hot as the other guy from Emergency?

Nowhere. So just feel free to slip a "mistake" in the mail.

Until then I wait for the correct disc. The one with the big "1" on it...

At 7:34 PM, February 07, 2006, Blogger P. K. Nail said...

Was there a note by the first disc that said "short wait" or something similar? For some reason, the first discs of series like that often have a wait, though the others don't. Lost is like that on my queue, as is Veronica Mars, I think.

And don't even get me started on how long Black Christmas has been at the top of my queue.

Nevertheless, it's a much better selection than the local video store. :P

At 7:43 PM, February 07, 2006, Blogger Kat Coble said...

That's the wierd thing...not only was there no wait (the show's been over for 12 years so it's probably just me and a guy named Chet living in his grandmother's guest house who wants this video) but they sent me a "we shipped Disc one" notice about 9 hours BEFORE they sent me a "we shipped Disc Two" notice.

But thank you for now making me want to get LOST from them, too.

And yes, their selection has me about to weep. It's wonderful

At 9:54 AM, February 08, 2006, Blogger Michael said...

Would it be wrong for me to giggle since I've got disc one, two, three, four, etc...;)

At 10:21 AM, February 08, 2006, Blogger Kat Coble said...

Wrong AND Cruel.

You are a very mean person, Big Orange Michael.


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