24 March, 2006

More Than Mildly Frustrating

I cannot watch TV anymore. At least not in the manner I like. We watch crime shows--CSI (rarely anymore), Medium, Veronica Mars, etc. My favourite pastime has been to see how quickly I can solve the crime, predict any twists and turns and actually write snatches of dialog.

Tim has recently requested that I stop this practice. It was during the last episode of Medium, when I shouted out the conclusion 18 minutes into the show. He then said "thanks for ruining the whole thing for me." I was stunned. There was A 51 Thing, right there.

If you are not married, you may not know what A 51 Thing is. If you are married, you KNOW full well, but you may not know what to call it. The 51 Things are those little things your spouse does which are mildly annoying, but not worthy of Having A Conversation About. Since in a marriage you are supposed to give 51% to the other person, these little things are part of that just-over-the-line giving of one's self that wedded bliss requires. It may be putting up with his or her drinking milk straight out of the carton. Or staying up late to watch TiVo'd soap operas. We each have our lot in life, our cross to bear. If you are part of a duo you just know. And you know when to stay mum for the sake of peace in the home. But every now and again your mate's little quirks cross a line. You can't stay quiet about it any more. You have tosaysomething NOW.

The sad thing is for the spouse who is chastened. They had no idea about the wound festering under the surface. I personally assumed (wrongly) that poor Tim found my ability to predict the outcome of TV charming. Or endearing. I had no idea he'd been grinding his teeth in mute anger forever. Poor guy.

But we've solved the problem. I've agreed to stop telling him the answer as long as he agrees to accept my "Got It!" with the implicit acknowledgement that I have indeed solved the mystery. I haven't yet, and probably never will, solve the mystery of why he continues to put up with me, though.


At 10:37 AM, March 24, 2006, Blogger Rachel said...

This post is very timely. The husband and I just had a "discussion" last night b/c he is seemingly incabable of flipping through the television channels in one direction. It's Ch 2, 4, 2, 4, 8, 4, 17 or some other such nonsense. Aaagh. My little librarian brain can't take it, and I had to say something. :)

At 11:32 AM, March 24, 2006, Anonymous Hubby said...

In the interest of clarification, I think my actual comment was something more like, "Thank you. Now there's no more need for me to spend any more time actually watching this episode." Any sarcasm and/or requests for you to change your TV viewing habits were possibly (though not probably) inferred.

At 3:40 PM, March 24, 2006, Anonymous Hubby said...

And for the record, I never EVER drink milk straight out of the carton. Nor do I TiVo soap operas to watch late at night, for that matter.

Let the record show that those were purely fictional examples. Thank you.

At 5:20 PM, March 25, 2006, Anonymous susan said...

Advice from Mama:  "Dont marry a man who has qualities you admire, but instead one who has faults you can live with."

rachel--solution to men who cannot manage a remote in a polite manner:  Go to buy a second remote and set it up for your tv so that you now how two working remotes to the same tv.  When hubby starts rudely bouncing around pull your remote out and mess him up.  He will soon learn that if he doesn't play nice with the remote you will bug the snot out of him with yours!


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