25 September, 2006

Shocking Spousal Revelation

This afternoon I had one of those moments usually reserved for Lifetime Television. One of those moments where Valerie Bertinelli finds her husband's credit card statement complete with three front-and-back pages of porn charges. Or Meredith Baxter-Birney-Baxter finds a locket that proves that her loving husband used to be a woman called Angela.

I have been married to the same wonderful man for more than 15 years. In fact, next month will be the 17th anniversary of our first date. He is the neat and tidy version of our family, the one who still irons. (I myself am partial to Downy Wrinkle Releaser.) Hubby is the person who stays grounded while I do the 'off with the faeries' thing.

So when I uncovered his hidden secret I was floored. It was the last thing I ever expected to hear him say.

It all started with a phone call from the church, asking if we would be willing to help with the babies on occasional Sundays. I was honestly flattered to be asked. I'm actually quite good with babies, insofar as they remind me of particularly fluid-filled yet hairless cats. I joke. I love babies. Although when my sister-in-law saw me interacting with her firstborn, she couldn't keep the surprise from her voice. "Kathy, you're good with babies!"

Yes, I am. And so I said that I would happily mind other people's children four times a year for a very limited amount of time. Watch me be a hero! And Hubby eagerly joined me.

That's when the revelation came.

"I" he tells me somberly "have never in my life changed a diaper."

Wha?!? How can you be thirty-mumble and have never changed a diaper?

"I never had the opportunity." He quickly followed that up with a profuse eagerness to learn. Which I believe. If ever there were a man who would embrace diaper-changing as a part of manhood it is The Hubster.

That's what surprises me. Here's a man who would happily change a diaper yet doesn't know how.

The things you learn in a marriage.


At 5:27 PM, September 25, 2006, Blogger Aunt Lydia said...

Well, I'm so glad that Tim will have this "ministry opportunity." At church yesterday, I changed eight diapers on seven different children. Only one diaper was dirty. After many years of extended session, we have a system worked out. Patrick holds the criers, and I change the diapers. We all have our spiritual gifts.

At 10:48 PM, September 25, 2006, Blogger SistaSmiff said...

I am babysitting my 16 month old niece ALLLLL day tomorrow. I swore when #2 finally got potty trained I would never change diapers anymore. I retired from nursery duty at the church and have gone out of my way to avoid touching a box of wipes...but Aunt Sista is going to see if she still has her touch or not.

At 2:56 PM, September 26, 2006, Blogger Rachel said...

I've never changed one either.


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